Yes The News Is Funnier Now

Washington, D.C. In an unexpected shift within the entertainment industry, some comedians and producers say the current political climate is reshaping demand for traditional stand-up comedy, as audiences increasingly turn to real-time political developments for humor. 

Industry observers note that public appearances, press briefings, and cabinet meetings involving President Donald Trump and senior administration officials have become a frequent source of viral moments, often characterized by rhetoric and exchanges that audiences find humorous. Rather than relying on scripted satire or late-night monologues, many viewers are engaging directly with political content as a form of entertainment. 

As a result, some venues that once hosted regular stand-up performances are adjusting their programming. Bar and restaurant owners report that broadcasting political coverage can draw comparable and sometimes larger crowds than scheduled comedy acts, with patrons reacting in real time to unfolding events. 

Nobody is denying that the administration provides moments people find funny, said the executive producer of Insomniac Scribble, a Portland-based podcast. From a business standpoint, venues see strong engagement. With a single click, they can stream content that keeps audiences watching, eating, and drinking. 

Producers at Renegade News echoed the sentiment, noting a reduced urgency among writers to create original parody material. There s less pressure to generate satire when audiences are already responding to what s happening day to day, one producer said. In many cases, the news cycle itself is driving the humor. 

While some comedians continue to adapt by incorporating current events into their routines, others say the shift presents challenges in an already competitive field. Whether this trend represents a lasting change or a temporary response to a unique political moment remains to be seen, but for now, the intersection of politics and entertainment appears to be evolving in real time.

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Advertise your business on a federal building

This morning Presidents Musk and Trump declared by Executive Order that advertising will be sold on exteriors of Federal Buildings, monuments and memorials. Effective immediately.

All Federal Buildings will be required to install a Trump logo 15% larger than all other advertising. The advertising department is hiring 900 people for sales, marketing, operations and technology positions. The Department of Government  Efficiency department (DOGE) has 890 positions flagged to be eliminated as soon as the staff settles in.

Ad sales revenue from this project is projected to be in the billions.

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Trump launches $399 high top sneakers

From the courthouse to "Sneaker Con," where former President Donald Trump announced his new Trump-sneakers which he calls the “The Greatest Sneaker Show on Earth.”

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Links to Amazon may pay me a sale commission. This does not affect the purchase price.

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The 2020 presidential race. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon

Will we have a winner before Thanksgiving? How about before the New Year?

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COVID-20, takes pandemic to the next level

As previously reported by Renegade News, nobody knows what to expect from the coronavirus or even how COVID-19 spreads. Experts are learning as they go.

 

That doesn't slow down the media frenzy. The sensational pandemic stories continue to sell newspapers.  TV news seduces viewers with that tease of disaster. News outlets report the next wave of the Rona will be much worse than the first wave and that hundreds of thousands will die. Die live on streaming video. The pandemic will be tweeted. Networks are secretly placing news crews high and low, ready to bring breaking news into your living room. Poised and ready to report the End of the World. Bringing it all to you LIVE As It Happens (and remember we're still not sure if a second wave will occur. There is no scientific evidence showing anything will happen).

The COVID committee says NOW is the time to panic shop! Get to the malls and spend! Ice cream, fresh seafood and KitKat bars expected to sell out first. Followed by paper towels, spray paint and peanut butter crackers. Sell your stock. Buy more stock. The NASDAQ is at an all-time high, or low. Order sushi and don't pay. Wear a mask! Wash your hands! Run with scissors.

And most important, panic! Stay tuned for a pep rally from the president's COVID committee. Panic shopping at the White House Labor Day Flash Sale! First eight thousand registered voters with a valid ID will get a free USB flash drive with any purchase from the president's Oval Office Shopping Network. Own a genuine original copy of the Constitution of United States of America from 1789. Like new. Hasn't been read in years, at least three years. Or get a limited supply of Ivanka's fashions (links to Amazon via associate link). Exclusive deals only on the president's Oval Office Shopping Network. Huge sale, over 70% off! Presidential dinnerware from looser past presidents. Someone must want this old stuff piled up in storage.  Everything that isn't Donald is being sold! Forget that boring virus and mumbo jumbo scientists, the Oval Office fire sale is on now, don't miss it.

GAMER NEWS Just In — the new edition of PC Gamer reports that “COVID-20” has a launch date of November 4th and it will launch in 5K and in VR. Is it REALITY OR SURREAL television? Stay tuned for updates as we dream them.   

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President Trump To Grant 3 Wishes

Donald Trump, the reality television super host turned president is so excited about his latest stunt that he used tear gas and rubber bullets on American citizens to clear his path for the announcement. Trump's Stunts are shown on his FOX News program every Tuesday at 5pm or whenever he wants because he is far more popular than any  show on television.  Huge ratings is what keeps Donald going. And his ratings are huge.

Don is focused on the carrot. When the coronavirus pandemic was looming, it never distracted Don from tweeting. When a black man was murdered in Minnesota and it created riots from coast-to-coast, our Megalomaniac in Chief was thrilled that crowds were outside the White House cheering for Donald. 

As you already know, when the Trumps moved into the White House a genie was captured. It is still alive living in its bottle. On Thursday afternoon (June 4th), President Trump will release the genie and grant the 3 wishes to auction winners. 

Donald Trump is granting three wishes to the three highest bidders. Bids will be taken via the great new whitehouse.gov auction portal going online Tuesday, June 2nd at 10 PM EDT and will remain online until 11:59 PM EDT on Wednesday, June 3rd. Bids must be made by citizens of the United States, have a valid passport and verifiable proof who they voted for in 2016.

Donald Trump will give all money generated from his genie wish stunt to the Trump World Fund based in the Cayman Islands. Representatives from the Trump World Fund would not speak on record about the fund, how much is collected annually or where the money is used but we were assured it is for very important things. Think vaccines, poverty, hunger, crime, poverty. Now think of a number between 1 and 100. Was it 28? Was I close?  The Trump World Fund, also known as 2918888201-03-00923 in the Cayman Islands will have another auction in July. Trump will announce details closer to the auction date. 

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Dr. Clean appointed leader of the NIH, CDC and the White House physician

Formerly known as Mr. Clean, Dr. Clean is a Graduate of Trump University with an honorary degree, Doctor of Humanities.

Clean is one of the custodians who believe bleach added to a bucket of water may kill viruses and leave a cleaner surface. To expand on this, president Trump stated that ingesting disinfectant might just kill Coronavirus. Of course the president was being sarcastic but is always thinking outside the box.

Dr. Clean led the Human Genome Project crew responsible for emptying waste baskets in the administrative offices.

Recently Dr. Clean was appointed acting director of the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland, United States. Mr. Clean was also given responsibilities of acting director of the Centers for Disease Control and is now chief physician for the president and his family.

Dr. Clean  has been working in medical offices for more than 40 years. He comes with high praise from very Impressive people with big titles and terrific Amazon reviews. Dr. Clean is not afraid of tough jobs and has a magic eraser to clean up even the biggest mess.

We wish Dr. Clean much success with the career move.

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The Press Conference staring Pres. Trump season one

He leaves chaos and fear in his wake. Donald Trump staffers always wondering, "what's next?" Earlir this week, our Renegade News Science Reporter spent 22 hours with the president and hasn't fully recovered yet.

A very busy Tuesday in Washington, DC.

Making America Great Again, isn't an easy job that many appreciate. But the job comes with a cool red cap so Don thought, why not. Nobody could do a better job staying focused like a laser beam on the dashboard of a 1958 Oldsmobile driving down a gravel road with a broken suspension and three screaming kids in the back seat.  Screaming kid #1 asking for "facts", #2 wants "scientific evidence" and Don has no idea what the third child is whining about. What are "Constitutional laws?"

Some days are harder than others. Don is always happy that Air Force One has been to Florida so many times, it can practically fly itself to Palm Beach. And in two hours, he's relaxing on the astroturf, puttering a few rounds of goonie golf. Always a winner. Don is the best goonie golfer in America. Ask any golfer.

ECONOMIC OUTLOOK

Don is very proud of how he turned around the economy. The Fake News doesn't mention his accomplishments in the economy. Factish: The stock market hasn’t seen a movement like this since since Bach's Brandenburg Concertos collection in 1047. So passionate. Donald feels so passionate about economics that he's known to shut down the government if his ideas are rejected. That says economic smarts like nobody's business.

EMPLOYMENT

And the job future is looking fantastic.  Dollar General is hiring. Walmart is hiring. Manufacturing is booming. Manufacturing jobs everywhere-food prep is filed as manufacturing. Food assembly line jobs. Hiring.

TELEVISION RATINGS

Ratings up, up, up. The Trump Press Conference show is so great. In fact, President Trurmp just signed for 16 more episodes of the press conference. Great show. Very entertaining. Watch Trump on FOX.

Why FOX?

FOX is respectful and knows how to be a guest in someone's home. A FOX reporter knows what a softball question is and when to toss one.

NEWSPAPER RATINGS

Donald doesn't read newspapers. He has a lot on his mind and uses FOX and Twitter.  Newspaper ratings don't matter. Nobody reads. Use Twitter to get the word right from the Trump Rump.

SOCIAL MEDIA

3:40 AM — Don is still #1 on Facebook and has 2.4 trillion followers on Twitter.

Follow @realDonaldTrump on Twitter.  President Trump spends a lot of time wordsmithing his great tweets. Don's natural leadership and intellect shine through in every tweet. Don's Tweets are sharp and focused. No Fact Check required. Never fact check. Waste of time.  Speaking of sharp and focused, crazy Joe @JoeBiden finally got the big endorsement from ex-president Barack Obama. If Obama was such a great president,  why didn't he have a pandemic team?  Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't.  I'm talking about his endorsement for Joe Biden now.

On Twitter: @BarackObama

For all of us who love this country and are willing to do our part to make sure it lives up to its highest ideals – now’s the time to fight for what we believe in. Join us at http://JoeBiden.com. And I’ll see you on the campaign trail as soon as I can.

Sad. Such a boring tweet. Needs spice. Bland tweet. YAWN. Anyway, Donald Trump has more followers and retweets than anyone on earth. More than Santa Claus and Jesus combined. Donald tweets a lot of fantastic things on social media. Yes fantastic. So dedicated. Donald is awake most of the night sharing his knowledge on twitter.  165,283,542 retweets. Just sayin'. Jump on the Trump Rump.   Dollar General has jobs!

Don is blessed to have bankruptcy and medical experts in his family.  No need for panic. Ivanka has a plan to restart the economy, it starts with her clothing brand. Made in the USA, or China, or wherever, not important. A three prong approach. Buy Ivanka's fantastic clothing. Stay at the glamorous Trump hotels and enroll in Trump University. Money will flow and  everything else will heal itself.

SURPRISE WEDNESDAY

Tune in tomorrow for Wednesday’s episode when Donald announces a big surprise! A multi talented star is joining Donald J’s science and medical leadership team. He thinks America will be very pleased with the new leader of medicine and science.  Just a tiny hint. Famous person who  everyone will recognize. Fabulous Emmy Award winner who played an astronaut and a doctor and has been studying for this role for over a month! So qualified. So very qualified.  I can’t wait to see the rocket ship that Space Force will use to save humanity. It’s huge and painted a beautiful blue to match the blue sandals from  Ivanka Trump’s Isolation-19 line of footwear. Donald Trump, Jr. and Eric Trump were hand picked by NASA, and approved by Congress, to fly the rocket into the sun and save Earth. Tune in Wednesday!!!


Remember, wear a mask and wash your hands. Don won’t wear masks or use soap and water because his sensitive skin turn orange and peels if washed too often. Very beautiful skin.

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See also: Sarcasm.
NOUN
The use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

 ‘his voice, hardened by sarcasm, could not hide his resentment’

sarcasm/ˈsärˌkazəm/ /ˈsɑrˌkæzəm/

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President Trump reacts to Turkey shelling our special forces

Trump's tweets in response to Turkey shelling our special forces!

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Government Shutdown Over! Saved $5 billion on Mexico wall replaced with a $1,597 patriotic ribbon!

Federal government workers missed their second paycheck today and funding for the president's $5.7 billion dollar wall still wasn't funded.

UPDATE: A low-cost alternative to the wall was presented to the president and accepted. A Patriotic Border Ribbon is awaiting review by the Government Accountability Office (GAO)  and should be streaming along the Rio Grande by February.

It's like gift wrapping the whole country!

Four out of five smugglers surveyed told us they would never cross such a beautiful symbol of freedom. The ribbon should be purchased and installed before the end of the month.

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Beer Bottle Border Wall Will Pay For Itself

The federal government remains partially closed and the president will not release the country until his demands are met.  A border wall paid for and by the people with a $5 billion dollar price tag.

A math major and beer snob got together and ran some numbers.  Americans consume more Mexican beer than any other import, averaging over 60 million gallons a month, according to beerinstitute data.  If we returned the empty bottles to Mexico for their deposit, the wall could be paid for in no time.  Let's do the math.

Assume all beer is bottled and all bottles have a 5¢ deposit.

In October 2018 60,951,402 gallons of Mexican beer were consumed. 54 bottles of beer make up a gallon. 60 million (gallons) times 54 = 3,240,000,000 bottles in one month and at 5 cents a bottle the wall gets $162,000,000 a month on the average. And this is just Mexican imports. There's big money in bottle deposits! Huge money!

By now the leaders in DC have exceeded their daily reading allotment. You see it would take years to save even one billion dollars but we can tell DC leadership their Five Billion Dollars (what is being asked for a wall) will be saved up in a few months.  A senator (not furloughed) recommended that beer bottle money will pile up much quicker if the furloughed federal employees pitch in and start collecting bottles immediately. If you haven't begun yet, start binge drinking amigo.

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Renegade News Mental Medal award

The president of RNS MEDIA, Renegade News parent company, has developed the Renegade News Mental Medal award, the highest honor on earth that is given to a satirical news site.  The RNMM award is given out randomly, like lollipops at a rave on South Beach, to satire news sites found on the internets.  Congratulate yourself if you have been awarded the RNMM award.

RNS MEDIA hosts a black tie dinner and award presentations twice a year at a secret club and Renegade News makes an insignificant donation to the Relax Steve campaign to memorialize the occasion. 

​

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President Trump has huge hurricane plan for Irma

President Trump declared he will save Florida.  The president is scheduled to arrive in Florida at 3 PM EDT and will blow Hurricane Irma out to sea.

The amount of air that one moves in and out of the lungs while breathing normally is called TIDAL VOLUME. This amount of air provides enough oxygen for a person who is resting. The president inhales and exhales with Vital Capacity, the maximum amount of air possibly moved in and out of the lungs and will use this power to steer the hurricane.

But there are three North Atlantic hurricanes out there, "Katia is in Mexico and forget about Hurricane Jose," the president said, "the wall will keep America safe."

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Melania selects border wall

First Lady Melania Trump was busy her first week as First Lady. Seen shopping for border trim that will be used on the fantastic wall husband Donald is erecting on the border of Mexico.

TILE A

TILE B

TILE C

TILE D

Overheard a congressman say in a West Wing lunch line, "I can't wait to see the expression on Mrs. Trump's face when it dawns on her that all that border tile is for a wall to keep out foreigners," as of now the Mrs' only instruction was from Donald, "Oh Melania, can you pick out a nice tile for the border wall."  Becomng a citizen of the U.S. recently, Melania has a strong bond with immigrants struggling to become U.S. Citizens.

Born in Slovenia, (former Yugoslavia), Melania became a permanent resident of the United States about 15 years ago and an American citizen ten years ago. Prior to marrying Donald Trump, she worked as a model. It's only the second foreign born First Lady in our country, the first time was Louisa Adams, born in London, and First Lady 188 years ago when John Quincy Adams was president from 1825 to 1829.

Every First Lady is remembered for something. Will Melania pet project be the Border Wall?


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Trump's law on national monuments

Renegade News just learned that President Donald Trump ordered his likeness to be displayed on all state and federal monuments and federal public lands. Signing what sources inside the beltway are calling the Bust Trump bill into law today. Those who stuck around with the late night inaguaration crowd in Washington DC were some of the first to see the unveiling of the Trump branded Refelecting Pool.

Mr. Donald Trump tweeted that statues and paintings will be fantastic curb appeal and also a huge boost to America others rejecting can stop in a regional Trump office for assistance. Mr. Trump forgot he was wearing a mic when he asserted how important it is that people are focused on distractions while his army mobilizes expecting an enormous number of people today.

White House spokesperson Caliente C. Spicer confirmed that effigies are being erected and emphasized the positive response from American citizens.  CC Spicer added that the tremendous addition to construction and manufacturing jobs from the erections is estimated to create a huge number of jobs. Further talks are ongoing.

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Does the Electoral College have a school mascot?

A group of grade school students contacted Renegade News to find out more about an Electoral College.

Our Renegade News Education Reporter did some reearch and found no admissions office, no way to apply and no dean of education. Further investigation found no known address for an "Electoral College" or "Electoral University."

No mascot? Most American schools have a mascot. High schools, colleges, and even middle and elementary schools typically have mascots. Most of them have their mascot created as a costume, and use this costume at sports or social events. Why is the school impossible to find and why doesn't the Electoral College have a school mascot?

Digging deeper we can confirm the Electoral College is not a place. It's actually a fictional school with 538 fictional students. There are no classes, no school colors and no graduations.

The only school activity we could find occurs every four years, in November, when the Electoral College has a Bowl Game against rival team, "Popular Vote" and the winner picks the next president of the United States.

We're working on a follow-up story, "Defaulting on Students Loans at  Electoral College."


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Trump ahead by 3 trillion votes

The election is a waste of time and money, according to unconfirmed statement from Donald Trump. "I already have trillions of early votes" says Trump.

 After the early voting, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has a 3 trillion to zero vote lead over Democrat Hillary Clinton, according to a guest satisfaction survey taken at Trump Tower on Sunday morning. Libertarian Gary Johnson has four votes. Bernie Sanders received three write-in votes while Mitt Romney, the 2012 GOP presidential nominee, also received a write-in vote. But Trump says he will fix those votes with his own money too.

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Elect Louie For President

Elect
Louie
for
President
in 2016

Vote for Louie.

Louie ain't no politician.

Louie is bigger & stronger than other world leaders.

Louie says stupid things, so I don't have to.

PLUS: Most important...

Louie is not running for office, so he's not a politician.

paid for by WTF Is Louie Campaign

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Does a shorter tweet affect your civil liberties?

Twitter, the social-media giant made popular by brief 140 character messages shared over the internet, is planning on cutting their Tweeters by 8%.  Depending on the math, rounding the fractions, the shorter tweets will be a max of 129 or 130 characters after the reorganization.

Our Wall Street sources told us on Tuesday morning that Twitter's CEO tweeted a DM to employees who will be eliminated in the process, "SMH OMFG you R SOL GTFO."

"We feel strongly that our giant servers will move much faster with a smaller and nimbler tweet," company officials tell us.

Tech blog Re/code reported last week that restructuring was coming as a result of Twitter becoming "too bloated." The company had recently been talking about longer tweets, paragraphs were mentioned -- but Twitter's core user base can't form a sentence and offering paragraphs will only intimidate longtime, loyal users. Civil liberties groups have called out a number of laws on the subject for potentially violating the First Amendment because they say nobody can tweet a good rant in just 130 characters.

Investors liked the 8% news: Twitter shares were up about 3 percent in early trade Tuesday.

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Watergate's Infamous 18 1/2 Minute Gap explained

WHY 18 1/2 MINUTES OF TAPE WERE ERASED

Watergate, the greatest political scandal of the 20th century, was shrouded in mystery, until today. Why was a discussion between President Richard Nixon and his chief of staff Bob Haldeman erased? Who would have been incriminated, was national security was at risk?

Despite conspiracy theories and forensic research, no clues could be authenticated. There was never a clear understanding of the “18½-minute gap.” This Renegade News political report explains.

During a meeting with President Richard Nixon, Ray Charles accidentally pressed "record" on a tape recorder, erasing the audio. About 18 minutes passed before Nixon notices.

Ray accidentally pressed [RECORD] on the tape recorder.


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