Crime is Killing the Environment

Hopefully you never see that yellow crime scene tape marking off a violent crime or murder, but as crimes go up so do thousands of yards of this plastic tape. And when the tape gets cut down for whatever reason, is usually left blowing down the street.

It doesn’t seem especially dangerous—a little flimsy yellow ribbon that will disintegrate as it tatters in the sunlight. But a recent study concludes that crime scene tape potentially has a big impact on the environment.

Approximately 14 billion feet of crime scene tape gets left in streets every year in the United States. Crime scene tape doesn’t decompose, and as a result, nearly 50 tons of plastic could end up in American food chain each year. Tiny pieces of this plastic, known as microplastic, are sinking into soil, which could then impact small animals, insects, and even end up in groundwater sources that eventually flow into the ocean. Crime scene tape has been found hundreds of miles offshore wrapped around dolphin and turtles. Birds are using crime scene tape in nests. Toxins from the plastic is absorbed by birds and hatchlings.

We know the source, and the solution seems simple. Eliminate crime and the crime scene tape goes away.

That simple fix is so simple that it’s incredible that it hasn’t been done yet. Renegade News endorses the proposal to eliminate crime to save the environment. Vote to eliminate crime in November. 


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Humans will evolve beyond recognized speech by 2050

Animals constantly adapt to changing environments. When we look at how evolution has taken us from tadpoles to Texters and Tweeters, it can be overwhelming. Look at traits one at a time and how they appear and disappear, birds of the same species have evolved on one island with long beaks to suck nectar of flowering plants and on the neighboring island short the same birds have short pointed beaks to crack open seeds of local vegetation. Plants evolve as well, if they do not attract insects to pollenate their flowers, they change their scent to something pleasing to bees.

Humans have evolved as well, usually subtle ways over thousands of years but with rapidly evolving technology the human is evolving at light speeds.  Medical experts told Renegade News that in about 30 years human beings will no longer speak. Communication in the future will be via a short burst of ultra low frequencies to be received by all or directed to a specific person.

Think of the human being of tomorrow to have built in WiFi and Texting!  Advanced sounds will be used for warning other species heard as indigenous profanities.

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Renegade News Mental Medal award

The president of RNS MEDIA, Renegade News parent company, has developed the Renegade News Mental Medal award, the highest honor on earth that is given to a satirical news site.  The RNMM award is given out randomly, like lollipops at a rave on South Beach, to satire news sites found on the internets.  Congratulate yourself if you have been awarded the RNMM award.

RNS MEDIA hosts a black tie dinner and award presentations twice a year at a secret club and Renegade News makes an insignificant donation to the Relax Steve campaign to memorialize the occasion. 

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Sea Turtle Rehab Center To Open In Times Square

This November, joining Spiderman, Sponge Bob, The Naked Cowboy and dozens of larger-than-life neon signs is a Sea Turtle Rehabilitation Center.

Few people know that Midtown Manhattan is the third largest sanctuary for the urban loggerhead sea turtle (Caretta urbana). The urban loggerhead is considered an endangered species and are protected by the International Union for the Conservation of Nature. Untended impact with taxi cabs are responsible for the most midtown loggerhead deaths, over 200 annually die by cab. Turtles may also suffocate if they are surrounded by crowds. This led Dr. Rubin Medico-Bufala to secure the 800,000 square foot space on two floors of a building near 41st Street and 7th Avenue to treat the urban loggerhead and release them to back the streets when healthy.

The majority of people living and working in New York City are unaware they coexist with urban sea turtles and walk past them every day. The population of endangered urban sea turtles has dwindled over the past 10 years, mainly due to increased vehicular traffic, 24 hour lighting and subwoofer reverberation. Disoriented turtles wander the streets, picking up discarded honey-roasted nuts and dirtwater dogs, resulting in heartburn and often a peptic ulcer. In contrast, healthy urban turtles have a bland vegetarian diet of a salad from Chop't and a chai iced tea.

Dr Medico-Bufala hired 100 struggling actors to treat sick street turtles at the soon-to-open rehabilitation center.

The turtles will also be taught coping skills to use when in a crowd. Coping with crowded places presents a challenge to many urban turtles and the hope is therapy before being released will lead to a healthier existance.

"We'll be taking every sea turtle to a few Broadway shows and educate them what happens when a turtle eats street meat, and of of most importance, these turtles will learn ten effective ways to get a buck out of a tourist" Medico-Bufala said.

"The greatest part about this is that the recruited actors are being educated on sustainability, they're learning about the protection of turtles, and they're learning why a healthy urban turtle diet is really important. "I think the really important part about this is the actors are making a step forward, we've got a lot of people coming to the training course. Some for a free hot breakfast or to be discovered, but most show an interest in urban sea life." Dr Medico-Bufala said if the long lines at the job fair is any indication, the turtle rehab center should be very successful. "It makes a huge difference having the triage center right where turtles are being injuried, in Midtown Manhattan, New York. Injured turtles can be treated close to their home and back on the street in days instead of being shipped south to Florida or Mexico."

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