The anti-balloon weapon that vaporizes the unidentified floating objects

Military buffs claim spy balloons are watching your every move. Drive in your car 100 miles and the balloon follows like it is reading your mind. Washington is mum on what secrets these balloons are capturing and if the hovering crafts all originated in China. Our Renegade military reporter didn't take long to send this update from 70,000 feet below the stratosphere.

It's not a balloon you fools. Clean your freaking windshield and like magic the unidentifid object is identified as bluejay poop.

We found a few tools which seem to wipe these balloons right out of the sky.

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Jeff Bezos' amazing space flight in a cardboard rocket ship

Billionaire Jeff Bezos flew in space today. 

Bezos’ company Blue Origin launched Bezos and friends into space, making history for many things, none more than his spacecraft constructed 100% from reclaimed cardboard Amazon shipping boxes.  Bezos told our Renegade News space bureau reporter that he is 100% committed to green. Skeptics think he was referring to the color of money, while environmentalists are hopeful he’s thinking about the planet.

New Shepard's launch went off without a glitch. As the spacecraft headed for space, tracking software showed 'in route' and changed to ‘delivered’ when the capsule touched down back on earth.

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NASA Finds Perfectly Rectangular Iceberg

NASA just shared a stunning image of a nearly perfect rectangular iceberg in Antarctica. The monolithic slab of ice, said to be floating just off the Larsen C ice shelf appears quite unnatural given the 90-degree angles. We sent our science reporter to cover the story and it was revealed that the close up photo appeared to be the size of Jamaica was in fact a 2 inch ice cube.

Operation HappyHour is a mission by NASA to document mixology around the world in order to understand how ice (thickness, location, accumulation, etc.) is affected by elements, mostly alcohol.

While scientists photograph the rectangular "iceberg" in order to justify this world tour of binge drinking, further research is being conducted. This will include investigating drinks with crushed ice as well as frozen fruit flavored cocktails. All in the name of science.

Rectangular ice cubes typically form in an ice tray of eight to twelve identical ice cubes defined with steep, nearly vertical sides and a flat plateau top, which are tabular bodies of thick ice. When popped out of the ice tray, the angles are exactly 90 degrees. Mixers, swizzle sticks and stirring winnow away the sharp edges of the ice cube and rounds it out, Billy Funt, a NASA scientist, told Renegade News.

MORE Assorted Ice Trays (via Amazon Affiliate Link, I am paid a commission on eligible sales from Amazon)

A normal process for ice is calving, the breaking off of distal ice from the larger ice cube.

NASA intends to study this calving process through Operation HappyHour as a way of measuring melting due to interactions of alcohol with the ice or maybe it's global warming. As the planet warms, more ice cubes are used and are more susceptible to calve off and splinter as they are mixed in a cocktail. NASA has been measuring alcohol levels for decades which led to great inventions such as the Buzz Aldrin, a mixture of Tang and vodka.

Buzz Aldrin cocktail

Additional inventions, thanks to NASA research:

Rocket Booster

Moonwalk

Galaxy Lemonade

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Ladies wait 5 times longer for toilets, even in outer space

Bathroom queues are much longer for the ladies than the men, and nobody seems to care!

One would think that a place like NASA could fix the toilet line crisis by building more toilets for women.

A spokesperson for  NASA was a bit frazzled when the recent press conference about an all woman space walk shifted to bathroom queues and the 5 hour zero gravity bathroom line orbiting Earth.

NASA explained toilet lines move faster on larger planets so if you really got to go, go to Jupiter.

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Six Flags – Over Earth announced. New NASA theme park on the moon

Following Friday morning’s successful crash of a LCROSS satellite and its booster rocket into a crater near the south pole of the moon, a surprise joint venture announcement was made between Six Flags and NASA, “Six Flags – Over Earth” a zero gravity water theme park is scheduled to break ground in Spring 2011 and be completed by 2020.

A satellite and booster rocket, shot at the moon as a test for potable water and parking, proved to be a positive low cost location for a gigantic entertainment complex which promises to eclipse the earth. Water slides, trampolines and character parades are only a few attractions slated for the new theme park.

"This is so cool," said Jerry Smith, coordinator for Six Flag’s “Over Earth” campaign. "We're thrilled."

"This is going to change where we take summer vacations," NASA chief lunatic Michael Mal de la Cabeza said at the news conference. “No More Jersey Shore for us”

Photos and artists renderings are to be released in the next few weeks.

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Star Wars Test is In The Bag

A Star Wars satellite packed with advanced censors tracked down a set of phony targets in a $250 million test of technology vital to placement of future space stations...

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