NASA Finds Perfectly Rectangular Iceberg

NASA just shared a stunning image of a nearly perfect rectangular iceberg in Antarctica. The monolithic slab of ice, said to be floating just off the Larsen C ice shelf appears quite unnatural given the 90-degree angles. We sent our science reporter to cover the story and it was revealed that the close up photo appeared to be the size of Jamaica was in fact a 2 inch ice cube.

Operation HappyHour is a mission by NASA to document mixology around the world in order to understand how ice (thickness, location, accumulation, etc.) is affected by elements, mostly alcohol.

While scientists photograph the rectangular "iceberg" in order to justify this world tour of binge drinking, further research is being conducted. This will include investigating drinks with crushed ice as well as frozen fruit flavored cocktails. All in the name of science.

Rectangular ice cubes typically form in an ice tray of eight to twelve identical ice cubes defined with steep, nearly vertical sides and a flat plateau top, which are tabular bodies of thick ice. When popped out of the ice tray, the angles are exactly 90 degrees. Mixers, swizzle sticks and stirring winnow away the sharp edges of the ice cube and rounds it out, Billy Funt, a NASA scientist, told Renegade News.

MORE Assorted Ice Trays (via Amazon Affiliate Link, I am paid a commission on eligible sales from Amazon)

A normal process for ice is calving, the breaking off of distal ice from the larger ice cube.

NASA intends to study this calving process through Operation HappyHour as a way of measuring melting due to interactions of alcohol with the ice or maybe it's global warming. As the planet warms, more ice cubes are used and are more susceptible to calve off and splinter as they are mixed in a cocktail. NASA has been measuring alcohol levels for decades which led to great inventions such as the Buzz Aldrin, a mixture of Tang and vodka.

Buzz Aldrin cocktail

Additional inventions, thanks to NASA research:

Rocket Booster

Moonwalk

Galaxy Lemonade

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USB plug-n-pour water generator

The water crisis is over.  Hydrofax of Santa Clara just announced a USB based water generator.

The creators of USB water claim it isolates hydrogen atoms, bonds them to oxygen and produces water, from thin air.   Water has been flowing from prototypes in Southern California for several months.

California state legislators have kept a pretty low profile on approval, particularly with regard to costs. California is projected to run out of water in a few years and officials throughout the Southwestern United States have the opportunity to rule with water. Unlimited water from air deflates that power and puts everyone on an equal playing field. 

California is the ideal candidate for instant water, and the legislature should be supporting widespread use of USB generated water. Unfortunately, the history of failed environmental issues such as solar power rebates and other incentives leaves USB Water's acceptance in limbo.

Skeptics of the product feel the USB water generator will fail just as dehydrated water did in the 1990s.

Version h1.0 software of USB Water is in beta testing on Windows 8, iOS and Android platforms.  The full release is planned for October, with a beer and wine option expected in 2017. 

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Texaco Tries Titillating Technique

The financially troubled Texaco Oil Company told Renegade News it plans to
tap a new market in an effort to bring their balance sheet into the
black. All service stations in the thirteen state drought-stricken
area of the nation will be converted from selling gasoline to selling
tap water.

Water will come in three varieties, similar to the gas they will
replace.

REGULAR water will be equivalent to the water in residential homes.

A MID-GRADE water, to help plants grow faster, will have a higher
phosphate base like the water that leaves your washing machine.

And a HIGH TEST water will be similar to water taken from the cooling
towers at your nearby nuclear power plant.

In a related story, Yuppies from all over the country are sending in
their Perrier brand water to the nation's farming belt to help fight
the drought. Farmers appreciate the bottled water effort, but noted one
side effect. Last week, several cows in one man's stockyard had the
urge to steal a BMW and drive recklessly across Nebraska.

RENEGADE NEWS -- The News We Twist To Fit {tm}
06/16/88

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