Yes The News Is Funnier Now

Washington, D.C. In an unexpected shift within the entertainment industry, some comedians and producers say the current political climate is reshaping demand for traditional stand-up comedy, as audiences increasingly turn to real-time political developments for humor. 

Industry observers note that public appearances, press briefings, and cabinet meetings involving President Donald Trump and senior administration officials have become a frequent source of viral moments, often characterized by rhetoric and exchanges that audiences find humorous. Rather than relying on scripted satire or late-night monologues, many viewers are engaging directly with political content as a form of entertainment. 

As a result, some venues that once hosted regular stand-up performances are adjusting their programming. Bar and restaurant owners report that broadcasting political coverage can draw comparable and sometimes larger crowds than scheduled comedy acts, with patrons reacting in real time to unfolding events. 

Nobody is denying that the administration provides moments people find funny, said the executive producer of Insomniac Scribble, a Portland-based podcast. From a business standpoint, venues see strong engagement. With a single click, they can stream content that keeps audiences watching, eating, and drinking. 

Producers at Renegade News echoed the sentiment, noting a reduced urgency among writers to create original parody material. There s less pressure to generate satire when audiences are already responding to what s happening day to day, one producer said. In many cases, the news cycle itself is driving the humor. 

While some comedians continue to adapt by incorporating current events into their routines, others say the shift presents challenges in an already competitive field. Whether this trend represents a lasting change or a temporary response to a unique political moment remains to be seen, but for now, the intersection of politics and entertainment appears to be evolving in real time.

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Board of Peace partners with Home Depot

The Board of Peace (BoP), or the Peace Board, is proud to partner with USA Canoe and Home Depot so everyone can have a Peace Board. 

Bring $20,000 (cash preferred) to the hot dog cart in the Home Depot shopping center. You will receive a genuine Board of Piece, or piece of a board, stamped with the Board of Peace logo. Made in America.  Thank you for your support.

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USA: EXPANDING TO SERVE BETTER

Looking for a side hustle? Think Yuge! You can own your very own, brand new state! Owning a franchise state is more affordable than you may think.

Buy America! Just look what is included! Franchisees get a non-exclusive territory, a box of Sharpies and a life-size photo of president Elon Musk and the founder of Donald J. Trump. With your franchise you get 8 cases of Trump paper towels, one pair of Trump sneakers in the official Trump size 6, and one Trump pardons. All franchises include full support of the army.

ACT NOW! The first 5,000 orders include official $1 bill in New U.S.A. currency. Franchise cost $60 billion, non-refundable. Boots on the ground doubles your initial investment costs.

USA and United States are protected trademarks of America, Inc., a Trump corporation.

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The Press Conference staring Pres. Trump season one

He leaves chaos and fear in his wake. Donald Trump staffers always wondering, "what's next?" Earlir this week, our Renegade News Science Reporter spent 22 hours with the president and hasn't fully recovered yet.

A very busy Tuesday in Washington, DC.

Making America Great Again, isn't an easy job that many appreciate. But the job comes with a cool red cap so Don thought, why not. Nobody could do a better job staying focused like a laser beam on the dashboard of a 1958 Oldsmobile driving down a gravel road with a broken suspension and three screaming kids in the back seat.  Screaming kid #1 asking for "facts", #2 wants "scientific evidence" and Don has no idea what the third child is whining about. What are "Constitutional laws?"

Some days are harder than others. Don is always happy that Air Force One has been to Florida so many times, it can practically fly itself to Palm Beach. And in two hours, he's relaxing on the astroturf, puttering a few rounds of goonie golf. Always a winner. Don is the best goonie golfer in America. Ask any golfer.

ECONOMIC OUTLOOK

Don is very proud of how he turned around the economy. The Fake News doesn't mention his accomplishments in the economy. Factish: The stock market hasn’t seen a movement like this since since Bach's Brandenburg Concertos collection in 1047. So passionate. Donald feels so passionate about economics that he's known to shut down the government if his ideas are rejected. That says economic smarts like nobody's business.

EMPLOYMENT

And the job future is looking fantastic.  Dollar General is hiring. Walmart is hiring. Manufacturing is booming. Manufacturing jobs everywhere-food prep is filed as manufacturing. Food assembly line jobs. Hiring.

TELEVISION RATINGS

Ratings up, up, up. The Trump Press Conference show is so great. In fact, President Trurmp just signed for 16 more episodes of the press conference. Great show. Very entertaining. Watch Trump on FOX.

Why FOX?

FOX is respectful and knows how to be a guest in someone's home. A FOX reporter knows what a softball question is and when to toss one.

NEWSPAPER RATINGS

Donald doesn't read newspapers. He has a lot on his mind and uses FOX and Twitter.  Newspaper ratings don't matter. Nobody reads. Use Twitter to get the word right from the Trump Rump.

SOCIAL MEDIA

3:40 AM — Don is still #1 on Facebook and has 2.4 trillion followers on Twitter.

Follow @realDonaldTrump on Twitter.  President Trump spends a lot of time wordsmithing his great tweets. Don's natural leadership and intellect shine through in every tweet. Don's Tweets are sharp and focused. No Fact Check required. Never fact check. Waste of time.  Speaking of sharp and focused, crazy Joe @JoeBiden finally got the big endorsement from ex-president Barack Obama. If Obama was such a great president,  why didn't he have a pandemic team?  Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't.  I'm talking about his endorsement for Joe Biden now.

On Twitter: @BarackObama

For all of us who love this country and are willing to do our part to make sure it lives up to its highest ideals – now’s the time to fight for what we believe in. Join us at http://JoeBiden.com. And I’ll see you on the campaign trail as soon as I can.

Sad. Such a boring tweet. Needs spice. Bland tweet. YAWN. Anyway, Donald Trump has more followers and retweets than anyone on earth. More than Santa Claus and Jesus combined. Donald tweets a lot of fantastic things on social media. Yes fantastic. So dedicated. Donald is awake most of the night sharing his knowledge on twitter.  165,283,542 retweets. Just sayin'. Jump on the Trump Rump.   Dollar General has jobs!

Don is blessed to have bankruptcy and medical experts in his family.  No need for panic. Ivanka has a plan to restart the economy, it starts with her clothing brand. Made in the USA, or China, or wherever, not important. A three prong approach. Buy Ivanka's fantastic clothing. Stay at the glamorous Trump hotels and enroll in Trump University. Money will flow and  everything else will heal itself.

SURPRISE WEDNESDAY

Tune in tomorrow for Wednesday’s episode when Donald announces a big surprise! A multi talented star is joining Donald J’s science and medical leadership team. He thinks America will be very pleased with the new leader of medicine and science.  Just a tiny hint. Famous person who  everyone will recognize. Fabulous Emmy Award winner who played an astronaut and a doctor and has been studying for this role for over a month! So qualified. So very qualified.  I can’t wait to see the rocket ship that Space Force will use to save humanity. It’s huge and painted a beautiful blue to match the blue sandals from  Ivanka Trump’s Isolation-19 line of footwear. Donald Trump, Jr. and Eric Trump were hand picked by NASA, and approved by Congress, to fly the rocket into the sun and save Earth. Tune in Wednesday!!!


Remember, wear a mask and wash your hands. Don won’t wear masks or use soap and water because his sensitive skin turn orange and peels if washed too often. Very beautiful skin.

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See also: Sarcasm.
NOUN
The use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

 ‘his voice, hardened by sarcasm, could not hide his resentment’

sarcasm/ˈsärˌkazəm/ /ˈsɑrˌkæzəm/

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President Trump reacts to Turkey shelling our special forces

Trump's tweets in response to Turkey shelling our special forces!

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Beer Bottle Border Wall Will Pay For Itself

The federal government remains partially closed and the president will not release the country until his demands are met.  A border wall paid for and by the people with a $5 billion dollar price tag.

A math major and beer snob got together and ran some numbers.  Americans consume more Mexican beer than any other import, averaging over 60 million gallons a month, according to beerinstitute data.  If we returned the empty bottles to Mexico for their deposit, the wall could be paid for in no time.  Let's do the math.

Assume all beer is bottled and all bottles have a 5¢ deposit.

In October 2018 60,951,402 gallons of Mexican beer were consumed. 54 bottles of beer make up a gallon. 60 million (gallons) times 54 = 3,240,000,000 bottles in one month and at 5 cents a bottle the wall gets $162,000,000 a month on the average. And this is just Mexican imports. There's big money in bottle deposits! Huge money!

By now the leaders in DC have exceeded their daily reading allotment. You see it would take years to save even one billion dollars but we can tell DC leadership their Five Billion Dollars (what is being asked for a wall) will be saved up in a few months.  A senator (not furloughed) recommended that beer bottle money will pile up much quicker if the furloughed federal employees pitch in and start collecting bottles immediately. If you haven't begun yet, start binge drinking amigo.

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Florida Voter Recounts in Senate and Governor’s Races

Dozens of these official election pails will be counted for the first time when Florida recounts votes for the Senate and Governor.

While officials scramble to empty recycling bins, Florida began their first full, statewide vote recount in its history on Saturday. The Senate, governor and agriculture commissioner vote was too close to call so back up votes previously uncounted will be included in the recount.



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President Trump has huge hurricane plan for Irma

President Trump declared he will save Florida.  The president is scheduled to arrive in Florida at 3 PM EDT and will blow Hurricane Irma out to sea.

The amount of air that one moves in and out of the lungs while breathing normally is called TIDAL VOLUME. This amount of air provides enough oxygen for a person who is resting. The president inhales and exhales with Vital Capacity, the maximum amount of air possibly moved in and out of the lungs and will use this power to steer the hurricane.

But there are three North Atlantic hurricanes out there, "Katia is in Mexico and forget about Hurricane Jose," the president said, "the wall will keep America safe."

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Medicine and Healthcare are fake

Renegade News' Arlington, Virginia office went deep undercover, to the 19th hole of an unnamed golf resort to gather facts for this story. Seems the medical and pharmaceutical industries do indeed control what medical news is released to the public, and where it is seen and heard.

The common cold.  Not everyone knows the common cold was cured in 1971. Cold medicine is a big money maker for primary care physicians and drug manufacturers. According to a pharmaceutical sales rep who prefers to remain anonymous, "it doesn't make sense for the medical community to walk away from big profits, 'the common cold has no cure.'"

Only 0.01% of the wealthiest on this planet are treated with a goal for a cure, the remaining population is sold medications, referred to multiple doctors and eventually infected with another virus and the cycle repeats.  Factoid: None of the 0.01% are left sick or suffering, they are treated and cured.

Epidemics. Imagine if epidemics were controlled releases, specifically to generate sales of new and expensive medications. Unfortunately we do not have the rest of this story as our reporter fell ill before completing the investigation. He has been suffering with the flu for three weeks and we have been holding onto his notes. As it is the week of Obama Care vote / no-vote, we feel it is topical.


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Melania selects border wall

First Lady Melania Trump was busy her first week as First Lady. Seen shopping for border trim that will be used on the fantastic wall husband Donald is erecting on the border of Mexico.

TILE A

TILE B

TILE C

TILE D

Overheard a congressman say in a West Wing lunch line, "I can't wait to see the expression on Mrs. Trump's face when it dawns on her that all that border tile is for a wall to keep out foreigners," as of now the Mrs' only instruction was from Donald, "Oh Melania, can you pick out a nice tile for the border wall."  Becomng a citizen of the U.S. recently, Melania has a strong bond with immigrants struggling to become U.S. Citizens.

Born in Slovenia, (former Yugoslavia), Melania became a permanent resident of the United States about 15 years ago and an American citizen ten years ago. Prior to marrying Donald Trump, she worked as a model. It's only the second foreign born First Lady in our country, the first time was Louisa Adams, born in London, and First Lady 188 years ago when John Quincy Adams was president from 1825 to 1829.

Every First Lady is remembered for something. Will Melania pet project be the Border Wall?


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Trump's law on national monuments

Renegade News just learned that President Donald Trump ordered his likeness to be displayed on all state and federal monuments and federal public lands. Signing what sources inside the beltway are calling the Bust Trump bill into law today. Those who stuck around with the late night inaguaration crowd in Washington DC were some of the first to see the unveiling of the Trump branded Refelecting Pool.

Mr. Donald Trump tweeted that statues and paintings will be fantastic curb appeal and also a huge boost to America others rejecting can stop in a regional Trump office for assistance. Mr. Trump forgot he was wearing a mic when he asserted how important it is that people are focused on distractions while his army mobilizes expecting an enormous number of people today.

White House spokesperson Caliente C. Spicer confirmed that effigies are being erected and emphasized the positive response from American citizens.  CC Spicer added that the tremendous addition to construction and manufacturing jobs from the erections is estimated to create a huge number of jobs. Further talks are ongoing.

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Does the Electoral College have a school mascot?

A group of grade school students contacted Renegade News to find out more about an Electoral College.

Our Renegade News Education Reporter did some reearch and found no admissions office, no way to apply and no dean of education. Further investigation found no known address for an "Electoral College" or "Electoral University."

No mascot? Most American schools have a mascot. High schools, colleges, and even middle and elementary schools typically have mascots. Most of them have their mascot created as a costume, and use this costume at sports or social events. Why is the school impossible to find and why doesn't the Electoral College have a school mascot?

Digging deeper we can confirm the Electoral College is not a place. It's actually a fictional school with 538 fictional students. There are no classes, no school colors and no graduations.

The only school activity we could find occurs every four years, in November, when the Electoral College has a Bowl Game against rival team, "Popular Vote" and the winner picks the next president of the United States.

We're working on a follow-up story, "Defaulting on Students Loans at  Electoral College."


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FOX News ads banned online?

Renegade News, an established institution providing decades of erratic, inconsistent, and sometimes humorous news reports strongly disagrees with Google and Facebook's decision to refuse to sell ads to FOX News.  As a parody news site we believe Fake News outlets should be identified, but not banned.

Facebook and Google will not broker advertisements for inclusion on websites and mobile apps that the sites have determined display fake or misleading news after some have raised questions about whether either company may have played a role in the presidential election.

The announcements follows widespread concern over the rapid increase of fake, wrong or misleading news articles on the internet.

Additionally, the news network is not banned in Canada.  CRTC regulations apply only to Canadian broadcasters using Canadian airwaves; they do not apply to non-Canadian news sources transmitted via satellite and cable, not broadcast over public airwaves.

CORRECTION:  This report earlier mentioned FOX News in error, that should read "fake news".

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Trump ahead by 3 trillion votes

The election is a waste of time and money, according to unconfirmed statement from Donald Trump. "I already have trillions of early votes" says Trump.

 After the early voting, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has a 3 trillion to zero vote lead over Democrat Hillary Clinton, according to a guest satisfaction survey taken at Trump Tower on Sunday morning. Libertarian Gary Johnson has four votes. Bernie Sanders received three write-in votes while Mitt Romney, the 2012 GOP presidential nominee, also received a write-in vote. But Trump says he will fix those votes with his own money too.

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Elect Louie For President

Elect
Louie
for
President
in 2016

Vote for Louie.

Louie ain't no politician.

Louie is bigger & stronger than other world leaders.

Louie says stupid things, so I don't have to.

PLUS: Most important...

Louie is not running for office, so he's not a politician.

paid for by WTF Is Louie Campaign

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Watergate's Infamous 18 1/2 Minute Gap explained

WHY 18 1/2 MINUTES OF TAPE WERE ERASED

Watergate, the greatest political scandal of the 20th century, was shrouded in mystery, until today. Why was a discussion between President Richard Nixon and his chief of staff Bob Haldeman erased? Who would have been incriminated, was national security was at risk?

Despite conspiracy theories and forensic research, no clues could be authenticated. There was never a clear understanding of the “18½-minute gap.” This Renegade News political report explains.

During a meeting with President Richard Nixon, Ray Charles accidentally pressed "record" on a tape recorder, erasing the audio. About 18 minutes passed before Nixon notices.

Ray accidentally pressed [RECORD] on the tape recorder.


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Canadians suspected in US Airways 1549 crash

As salvage efforts to lift the US Airways jumbo jet out of the icy Hudson River continued yesterday, Vice President Dick Cheney was briefing President Bush about Canada's act of aggression. An undisclosed source tells Renegade News that Cheney insists that when the Airbus A320 was intercepted by Canada Geese three days ago, it was no accident.

The flight destined for Charlotte, North Carolina, collided with "big, dark-brown birds" within minutes after takeoff from LaGuardia Airport in New York on Thursday and both engines lost power.

Canada had thousands of sleeper cell Geese living in American cities and have been allegedly planning this strike for quite some time. It is reported that other birds were seen flapping in a celebratory fashion shortly after the the crash.

Our undisclosed source goes on to report that after the National Transportation Safety Board reviews webcam video and anonymous blog comments, it will be become clear that the birds, flying in an attack formation, were targeting the aircraft.

Some sources say President George Bush plans to retaliate by launching Turkeys (Meleagris ocellata) at Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver on Monday as his final act of President.

Today, President Bush and the Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) declared a no-fly zone for birds within 10 miles of all US Airports.

The Stupidest Things Ever Said by Politicians
by Ross Petras
Paperback: 288 pages

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Solidarity / Reagan Psychic / Aloha Airlines

Solidarity Still Striking: In Warsaw, Poland, labor negotiators went to a massive steel mill where...

President pursues Psychic Predictions: Not to the country's amazement, President Ronald Reagan has been using an astrologist to help him plan his day...

Aloha Ascends above all: Aloha Airlines jet broke apart over Hawaii last week

From Renegade News - the news we twist to fit

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Winter Olympics Turn Tepid

When Reagan and Gorbachev met at their summit meeting last Summer, presidential advisors said the arms reduction act would severely reduce the competitive nature of Winter Games...

From Renegade News - the news we twist to fit

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Reagan gives Thumbs Up after procedure

Official word is that President Reagan had a colonoscopy and no evidence of...

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