For years, as scientists noted what appeared to be a link between poor posture and increased instances of mobile computing, supporters of humane ergonomic technology have suggested a slumped mobile posture is bad for health. Now a team of researchers from Transylvania University in Lexington, Kentucky have discovered that poor posture combined with high levels of a 3G bandwidth used in mobile users actually increase the risk of Kyphotechnosis.
Kyphotechnosis (KTech) is a is caused by any condition where advanced wireless technology causes a person to contort their body so that they are bent in an unnatural position. The CDC estimates that KTech silently kills approximately 124,000 people nationwide per year.
Researchers in Kentucky initially surveyed ten thousand wireless subscribers, on a 2 year contract, and determined risk factors for KTech. They found that the health and welfare of mobile users was a significant factor in the proliferation of KTech. “If you compromise the posture while engaging with a mobile device, the ability to control KTech is also compromised,” says Ron Redmon, lead researcher for the team who is now a professorial fellow in microwave technology at the University of Miami and science director for the National Center for Kyphotechnosis Research.
Management is key to healthy mobile usage. “It’s not about instant communication or data speed, and a vaccine is not practical,” Redmon says. “Better posture is the path we must take. “A happy chicken is a safe chicken.” If consumers are willing to adjust their posture while working on a smart phone, we can completely change these outcomes.”
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Kyphotechnosis (KTech) is a is caused by any condition where advanced wireless technology causes a person to contort their body so that they are bent in an unnatural position. The CDC estimates that KTech silently kills approximately 124,000 people nationwide per year.
Researchers in Kentucky initially surveyed ten thousand wireless subscribers, on a 2 year contract, and determined risk factors for KTech. They found that the health and welfare of mobile users was a significant factor in the proliferation of KTech. “If you compromise the posture while engaging with a mobile device, the ability to control KTech is also compromised,” says Ron Redmon, lead researcher for the team who is now a professorial fellow in microwave technology at the University of Miami and science director for the National Center for Kyphotechnosis Research.
Management is key to healthy mobile usage. “It’s not about instant communication or data speed, and a vaccine is not practical,” Redmon says. “Better posture is the path we must take. “A happy chicken is a safe chicken.” If consumers are willing to adjust their posture while working on a smart phone, we can completely change these outcomes.”
THIS IS A PARODY OF NEWS