Don't Say Gay in Florida

Days after Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis signed into law a bill dubbed "Don't say gay" law the governor has declared the law includes everything rainbow. 

The law includes banning FOOD. Rainbow peppers are on the chopping block and Florida's Department of Agriculture is being trained to destroy these promiscuous peppers when found.

As many who opposed the bill stated, rainbow cookies which are a staple in Italian bakeries, are now contraband and will be confiscated.  Breakfast favorite, Fruity Pebbles, the cereal with fruit-flavored crisp rice cereal bits will be off shelves in 30 days.  Our calls to Post were not returned.

Billboards are going up next week to alert motorists of the law and report rainbows. DeSantis claims leftist liberals use rainbows sort of like on Batman when they shine the bat light in the sky.  

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FALSE CLAIM of a CoVid Colon Antibody Test

WARNING: MIAMI-DADE County, FL. Beware of a Florida Main, claiming to be a doctor, driving in an nondescript white van and claiming to authorized to perform free CDC approved Coronavirus / CoViD antibody test with 100% accurate results. 

The unaccredited doctor is reported to park crowded parking lots in Hialeah and Miami Lakes at various times of the day. He claims the only 100% accurate antibody test is in the Colon. Dozens of reports have been made to Miami-Dade and Hialeah police departments. Victims agree to the colon swab but the van drives away before giving people their results. 

 According to the CDC there is no such colon swab test for CoViD antibodies being offered in the United States at this time. 

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Disney Grande Band Aide will revolutionize crowds and big events

Disney World reopens the Happiest Place on Earth with a few tweaks for COVID-19.

Disney turned a deaf mouse ear to the thousands who pleaded not to reopen yet. Our Renegade News entertainment reporter spoke with Walt Disney last week. Disney walked us through a few of the safety features being implemented at the theme parks for moving a herd of people quickly through the gates.

"We have increased Disney Magical Moments to eight times the usual moment, that means a Disney cast member is likely to have a moment with a guest every 5 minutes," Disney told us.  All cast characters have been trained in proper use of Lysol and Clorox Wipes. Expect to be wiped down and sprayed during your visit to the Magic Kingdom. 

And in addition, guests are being fitted with a strong magnetic belt which will repel other guests who come within 10 feet of each other. Officials are saying the magnetic belt, called the Disney Grande Band Aide, or DiGBA, will revolutionize large gatherings in the parks. In the future Disney plans to make the DiGBA available for sale to event producers around the world. The ultimate in crowd control. Disney imagineers rolled out earlier versions that Cinderella has been wearing since March. Disney acknowledged this DiGBA belt is still being fine tuned and has a few known issues including magnets launching guests 30 feet in the air and there are reports of uncontrollable movements when worn near the Maglev trains. 

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ULTRA Music affects Atlantic Ocean currents

Miami is cleaning up from a weekend of music but the oceans are still choppy. That deep hypnotic bass bellowing from Virginia Key this weekend affected the Atlantic Ocean currents and migrating sea life.

Satellite imagery shows deep water disturbances emitting from Miami Marine Stadium extending well beyond Bermuda.  The ripple is not expected to reach Europe.

Many marine organisms rely on their ability to hear for their survival. Sound is the most efficient means of communication underwater and is the primary way that many marine species gather and understand information about their environment. Many aquatic animals use sound to find prey, locate mates and offspring, avoid predators, guide their navigation and locate habitat, and listen and communicate with each other. Etymōtic Research is rumored to have a prototype porpoise hearing protection device in the works aka "pod protectors". Too late for Ultra but good for future waterfront events.

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Florida Voter Recounts in Senate and Governor’s Races

Dozens of these official election pails will be counted for the first time when Florida recounts votes for the Senate and Governor.

While officials scramble to empty recycling bins, Florida began their first full, statewide vote recount in its history on Saturday. The Senate, governor and agriculture commissioner vote was too close to call so back up votes previously uncounted will be included in the recount.



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President Trump has huge hurricane plan for Irma

President Trump declared he will save Florida.  The president is scheduled to arrive in Florida at 3 PM EDT and will blow Hurricane Irma out to sea.

The amount of air that one moves in and out of the lungs while breathing normally is called TIDAL VOLUME. This amount of air provides enough oxygen for a person who is resting. The president inhales and exhales with Vital Capacity, the maximum amount of air possibly moved in and out of the lungs and will use this power to steer the hurricane.

But there are three North Atlantic hurricanes out there, "Katia is in Mexico and forget about Hurricane Jose," the president said, "the wall will keep America safe."

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Lomelo Walks, Lomelo Talks

In a surprise to everyone, ex-Mayor of Surnise, Florida, John Lomelo was freed from prison last weekend...

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Leggo my Lotto

Where are the millions of dollars from the Florida Lottery going?...

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Florida Lottery starts on Tuesday / Prices cut on Airlines

Florida Lottery begins next week. Merchants are confused as to who will be selling tickets and when they will receive sales kits...

Continental Airlines cuts 25% to 30% off alltickets purchased...

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