Beer Bottle Border Wall Will Pay For Itself

The federal government remains partially closed and the president will not release the country until his demands are met.  A border wall paid for and by the people with a $5 billion dollar price tag. A math major and beer snob got together and ran some numbers.  Americans consume more Mexican beer than any other import, averaging over 60 million gallons a month,...

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Site Security, please change your password

Renegade News has been battling cyber attacks since the typewriter was invented. In 2019 you will notice new security has been implemented in an effort to increase account security.  The US National Institute of Standards and Technology revised their suggestions for password protection and frequency to be changed. Starting January 1, 2019 you will be prompted to change...

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Marlboro takes big stake in marijuana company

Altria, Marlboro parent company, has invested $1.8 Billion in a marijuana stock. Rumors have been swirling for months, today Altria Group announced it invested over a billion in marijuana stock Cronos Group. Frito-Lay, after hearing the Altria announcement, declared today is a company holiday and told factory workers their jobs are secure for the indefinite future. THIS...

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Florida Voter Recounts in Senate and Governor’s Races

Dozens of these official election pails will be counted for the first time when Florida recounts votes for the Senate and Governor. While officials scramble to empty recycling bins, Florida began their first full, statewide vote recount in its history on Saturday. The Senate, governor and agriculture commissioner vote was too close to call so back up votes previously...

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Kugel the search engine with answers

Last weekend I was looking for a challah in all the wrong places. Google was not helping. Feeling annoyed. Walking the streets in chilly 59° with a steady drizzle, I was ready to give up. That’s when I found Kugel, the Jewish search engine. Success! I avoided the Tefillin and dodged their pop up brochures. "Go two blocks north" and I found a challah.  Guys on the...

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Crime is Killing the Environment

Hopefully you never see that yellow crime scene tape marking off a violent crime or murder, but as crimes go up so do thousands of yards of this plastic tape. And when the tape gets cut down for whatever reason, is usually left blowing down the street. It doesn’t seem especially dangerous—a little flimsy yellow ribbon that will disintegrate as it tatters in the sunlight....

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Humans will evolve beyond recognized speech by 2050

Animals constantly adapt to changing environments. When we look at how evolution has taken us from tadpoles to Texters and Tweeters, it can be overwhelming. Look at traits one at a time and how they appear and disappear, birds of the same species have evolved on one island with long beaks to suck nectar of flowering plants and on the neighboring island short the same birds...

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IHOP Rebrands as IHOB?

The International House of Pancakes took a proactive measure and rebranded to the International House of Bathrooms or IHOb as reflected in all marketing and webpages.  The change sends a strong message to other retail establishments, open up and let the people pee.  This follows Starbucks announcement of their corporate policy to allow anyone to use their bathroom. A...

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The #MTA's Next Gen Subway Car

unrelated photo While waiting on the platform for our train we saw the prototype new #MTA subway train zip by. So retro! Disclaimer: This site is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. THIS IS A PARODY...

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No more cake decorating typos with AutoCorrect in a cake decoration bag

Let Them Eat Cate!  You may have had your last "Barfday" cake. It has happened too often, you get a great cake and order a message to be written in the frosting only to find out too late that your cake has a typo, "Congradulations" or "Get Eel Soon".  Worry no more, Pillsbury has announced Cake Frosting Bag with AutoCorrection! Now anyone can write in frosting...

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Cool updates to your coffee maker software that you want

The KitchenAid coffee maker upgrade is here! Like many of you, I have been awaiting the release of the new operating system for the popular KitchenAid 12-Cup Coffeemakers. It was promised in the second quarter of 2018, and select consumers are waking up to new cafe features on their counter. After you upgrade the operating system to KA2.3 you will wonder how you lived without...

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Canada unveils USA-CAN Border Slide

The skier missing on Whiteface Mountain since last Wednesday and presumed dead has been found alive and well in California. New York state police confirmed that the 49 year old Canadian man is in good health and in contact with local authorities in Sacramento. Danny has been on a secret mission. Danny "vanished" while skiing with friends. Until now there were no details...

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Renegade News Mental Medal award

The president of RNS MEDIA, Renegade News parent company, has developed the Renegade News Mental Medal award, the highest honor on earth that is given to a satirical news site.  The RNMM award is given out randomly, like lollipops at a rave on South Beach, to satire news sites found on the internets.  Congratulate yourself if you have been awarded the RNMM...

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Doctor Pod Snap! Dr Pepper Snapple, Keurig Green Mountain combine

In an effort to make a bigger pop, Dr Pepper Snapple and Keurig Green Mountain plan to combine to form a company with $11 billion in annual revenues, the companies said Monday. The combined company, will be called Doctor Pop Snap, reason enough to form this merger. [correction: The combined name will be Keurig Dr Pepper) The companies have done business before. Remember...

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