Humans will evolve beyond recognized speech by 2050

Animals constantly adapt to changing environments. When we look at how evolution has taken us from tadpoles to Texters and Tweeters, it can be overwhelming. Look at traits one at a time and how they appear and disappear, birds of the same species have evolved on one island with long beaks to suck nectar of flowering plants and on the neighboring island short the same birds have short pointed beaks to crack open seeds of local vegetation. Plants evolve as well, if they do not attract insects to pollenate their flowers, they change their scent to something pleasing to bees.

Humans have evolved as well, usually subtle ways over thousands of years but with rapidly evolving technology the human is evolving at light speeds.  Medical experts told Renegade News that in about 30 years human beings will no longer speak. Communication in the future will be via a short burst of ultra low frequencies to be received by all or directed to a specific person.

Think of the human being of tomorrow to have built in WiFi and Texting!  Advanced sounds will be used for warning other species heard as indigenous profanities.

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IHOP Rebrands as IHOB?

The International House of Pancakes took a proactive measure and rebranded to the International House of Bathrooms or IHOb as reflected in all marketing and webpages.  The change sends a strong message to other retail establishments, open up and let the people pee.  This follows Starbucks announcement of their corporate policy to allow anyone to use their bathroom.

A movement has been gaining momentum on social media protesting corporate bathroom policies that require paid purchases prior to using the bathroom. A manager with a grocery chain which asked to remain anonymous told us he sees at least a dozen shoppers scramble for the toilets while shopping only to be stopped in their tracks by a lock. The code for the lock is on customer receipts and this manager said he doesn't understand the outrage. Urinary urgency is why the people are upset. Over 10 million Americans suffer from incontinence, which means that they are not able to control the times when they urinate. In some cases, the loss of urine is so small that people are hardly aware of it. In other cases, the amount of leakage is quite large. Only about 10 percent of people who suffer from incontinence seek treatment. Without treatment, many of these people stay at home and withdraw from life unnecessarily.

Analysts predict Taco Bell join the open bathroom policy in a release which coincides with a soon-to-be-released Bathroom Burrito.

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The #MTA's Next Gen Subway Car

unrelated photo

While waiting on the platform for our train we saw the prototype new #MTA subway train zip by. So retro!

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No more cake decorating typos with AutoCorrect in a cake decoration bag

Let Them Eat Cate! 

You may have had your last "Barfday" cake.

It has happened too often, you get a great cake and order a message to be written in the frosting only to find out too late that your cake has a typo, "Congradulations" or "Get Eel Soon".  Worry no more, Pillsbury has announced Cake Frosting Bag with AutoCorrection!

Now anyone can write in frosting like a pro with Pillsbury Flavored Filled Auto-Correct Pastry Bags. Using the built-in typo detection, you can present your message or phrase on a cake with confidence. It’s all of the fun, none of the frustration.

Pillsbury AutoCorrect is a feature commonly found in word processing programs, such as Microsoft Word. As the name implies, this feature automatically corrects misspellings and common typos made on cakes for any occasion.

AutoCorrect also has a built in NSFW filter to censor your list of prohibited words.

AutoCorrect is available in vanilla, cream cheese, chocolate fudge and cherry flavors in the software or baking aisle of your local grocer.


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Cool updates to your coffee maker software that you want

The KitchenAid coffee maker upgrade is here!

Like many of you, I have been awaiting the release of the new operating system for the popular KitchenAid 12-Cup Coffeemakers. It was promised in the second quarter of 2018, and select consumers are waking up to new cafe features on their counter.

After you upgrade the operating system to KA2.3 you will wonder how you lived without these new features!

Highlights of the ALL NEW KA2.3 Features

VR Brew
Most exciting is the virtual reality brew setting. Indicates the brewed coffee is steaming hot, ready to serve, even if you don’t touch the stuff IRL.  A popular request and has been offered on K-Cups since early 2017.

Programmable tones
No more harsh beeping, load your favorite tones to alert you on, off and ready status—or you can turn off all sounds.

ReBru
How many times have you made a pot of coffee while you are half-asleep and the coffee is too weak, too strong or worse full of grinds. Press ReBru and the machine express brews your first pot of the day using learned characteristics so you don't have to think.

Add Milk and Sugar selector
Lets you make coffee to suit your preferences.  A feature you're going to love.

Prepare for upgrade

• Thoroughly clean basket of grinds and rinse carafe. 
• Set coffee maker into command mode:
•  Press and hold the Brew and Clock buttons for 90 seconds until coffee maker beeps 4 times. 
• Follow prompts.  

This update takes approximately 20 minutes and requires your coffee pot to be running on an electric power supply.

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