Mixing ketchup and mayo is not special and is not a secret sauce-it just ruins ketchup.
From hot sauce to hamburgers, mayo ridden meals are being reported at an alarming rate. Twitter hashtag tracking shows a 280 thousand sandwich #Fail for mayo mistakes so far this year, compared to same the 6 month period last year which recorded under 100 thousand mayo linked food #Fails. A group of consumers organizing multiple lawsuits are demanding mayo warning labels on packaging of food items that contain mayo and clearly identify every menu item sold with a mayonnaise. Food companies have been in the cross hairs of condiment litigation before but a newly formed #NoMayo group is using social media to raise awareness and grow participation.
"It's more than a few complaining," James Lemone, Head of Product Satisifbaction for a leading mayo manufacturer, told Renegade News. "I've had to hire twenty-three more lawyers and fifty-two more paralegals in the last six months. It's always a bad sign if James Lemone is hiring more lawyers. This could drive me out of business" The condiment manufacturers do not want the labeling and are scared.
This year alone, there have been many lawsuits filed and numerous resolved that could factor into future cases and help answer some of the big questions looming over the mayo industry. Will any foods be exempt from mayo warning labels? "These activists are going too far. Do we really need a warning on a BLT? Who eats a BLT without mayo?," Lemone adds. Who is responsible for mayo failures at the food prep level? Will the death penalty be used in certain states?
FOODS TOUCHED BY MAYO
Special or
secret sauce – it's not special and it's not a secret. Mayo lobbyists pushed mayo into ketchup so hard that ketchup producers thought the only option was mix mayo into their ketchup bottles. No, no, no. Heinz. Stop mixing it. No mayoque, no mayochup. If someone wants to eat mayo on a hamburger, or on ice cream for that matter, it is a decision that must be made by the individual. Label these hamburgers with the mayo warning, no secrets.
Dijon mustard is bad seed.
The
chipotle pepper, a smoke-dried ripe chile pepper used for seasoning. It is a chile used primarily in Mexican and Mexican-inspired cuisines, such as Tex-Mex and Southwestern dishes. It's been popular as a spice on the American food scene long before some numb-nuts mixed the spice with mayo and slathered sandwiches. Now when a food item is described using "chipotle" you can safely assume that it contains a chipotle mayo type sauce. Avoid The Aioli.
The
hamburger - a hamburger should never have mayo added by anyone but a consumer. Not much discussion needed. A soggy bun sucks. Let's put a footnote in about the Steak and Cheese sandwich. Mayo on a steak sandwich WTF? Moving on.
French Fries – At first it seemed like a great dining trend, Moules Frites – Belgian Mussels with French Fries but as with other meals it's hard to recover from mayo on a plate with food. Restaurateurs ignored #NoMayo. If you insist on the fries and mayo, catch a flight to Belgium and take a
tour of Moules Frites.
Sushi. If the menu says "spicy" expect mayo mixed with raw fish, such as spicy tuna or spicy salmon. Many lemmings (uncreative chefs) use mayonnaise as a topping. Every bite you take. Every roll you make. They'll be watching you.
SCHEDULE I MAYO?
These lawsuits are pushing for a
Spice, Sauce and Condiment Commission (SSCC). The SSCC would establish a system similar to the schedule used by the DEA. Mayo, considered the most grotesque food product, will be known as Schedule I. Aioli, Remoulade, Miracle Whip, Special Sauce are all versions of mayo, and would be included as Schedule I sauces. Labels warning of mayo products will be strictly enforced. Fines and prison time are to be determined.
Schedule II – Ketchup and mustard. This dynamic duo are also considered offensive in some circles, but unlike Schedule I condiments, both of these are acceptable in most cases.
Mayo has shattered meals and scorched palates. Just say #NoMayo
THIS IS A PARODY OF NEWS
