Retire on bananas #ArtBasel

Buy a banana. Invest in your future.  Amazon has bananas selling for 19¢, a fraction of Art Basel prices. Get them while they're green and watch its value quadruple right before your eyes. Buy a  BANANA (links via Amazon Affiliates, where I may be paid commissions) THIS IS A PARODY OF N...

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Allergy Warning: May Contain Nuts

CAUTION … WARNING:  Allergy Warning: Comments may be made by nuts or traces of other nuts. Renegade News makes no claims that our newsroom is allergy free.  Content is definitely handled by nuts during preparation and delivery. THIS IS A PARODY OF N...

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ACME fails in roadrunner kits

ACME stores have opened up in several locations. Naturally our crack news team thought this was in response to the population growth of urban and suburban coyotes.  Just for fun we went shopping for rockets, boulders and even anvils in multiple ACME Market stores with no success. Not ready to admit defeat, we turned to their website and had the same negative...

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Ladies wait 5 times longer for toilets, even in outer space

Bathroom queues are much longer for the ladies than the men, and nobody seems to care! One would think that a place like NASA could fix the toilet line crisis by building more toilets for women. A spokesperson for  NASA was a bit frazzled when the recent press conference about an all woman space walk shifted to bathroom queues and the 5 hour zero gravity bathroom...

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Forget Pumpkin Spice, try the CBD Guac and Chips

It's that time of year when everything oozes pumpkin spice.  If you can imagine it, it has the scent. Aspen CBD company Toast may have jumped the shark with their pumpkin spice CBD oil. They were planning on being the new patchouli for the Millennial music fans this fall season. Millennials said so long to their pumpkins and are literally lining up at...

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President Trump reacts to Turkey shelling our special forces

Trump's tweets in response to Turkey shelling our special forces! THIS IS A PARODY OF N...

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The Hottest Fast Foods Are Vegan!

Take a look at these boxed lunches. Vegan menus are in the forefront and even taking over fast food menus.  McDonald's, Burger King and Taco Bell all offer meat free meals and are quite tasty.  Vegetarians can remember not too long ago when the only meatless option was a box of old tasteless pressed bean patties stuck in the back of the grocery store's freezer section. Nestle's...

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Tashlich gets warning from governors of 3 northeast states

On the first day of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year after the afternoon prayer, the congregation traditionally goes to a lake, river or sea (preferably a body of water that has fish), and recite the Tashlich prayers, wherein the people cast sins into the water and leave old shortcomings behind us, thus starting the new year with a clean slate. Governors of Delaware, Maryland...

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Avocado Toast Chicks (Peeps)

Avocado Toast Flavored Marshmallow Chicks Avocado Toast Flavored Marshmallow Chicks bring savory and crunchy flavors together like never before to create an unforgettable, ‘millennially’ delicious taste experience. Available exclusively at Sears. FIND  Ingredients SUGAR, CORN SYRUP, GELATIN, FUMARIC ACID, CITRIC ACID, PECTIN, CONTAINS LESS THAN...

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Royal Caribbean's first aircraft, Master of the Skies

By Hannah LONDON, UK, 1 April 2019 - Today, Royal Caribbean International has announced plans to take its travel experiences to extraordinary new heights with the launch of its first ever aircraft, Master of the Skies. Set to take to the skies in 2022, the first Cloud-class plane will offer guests the chance to enjoy many of the hallmarks of Royal Caribbean’s...

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ULTRA Music affects Atlantic Ocean currents

Miami is cleaning up from a weekend of music but the oceans are still choppy. That deep hypnotic bass bellowing from Virginia Key this weekend affected the Atlantic Ocean currents and migrating sea life. Satellite imagery shows deep water disturbances emitting from Miami Marine Stadium extending well beyond Bermuda.  The ripple is not expected to reach Europe. Many...

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Pizza, it's the smart choice for breakfast

Chelsey Amer, MS, RDN, CDN to The Daily Meal shook up breakfast when she told the Chicago Tribune that a slice of pizza is healthier than a bowl of cereal. It's got protein. It's got carbs. It might even have vegetables. That hot slice of cheesy goodness is a balanced breakfast if we've ever seen one. Cereal giants Quaker, General Mills and Kelloggs all scrambled to bake...

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Government Shutdown Over! Saved $5 billion on Mexico wall replaced with a $1,597 patriotic ribbon!

Federal government workers missed their second paycheck today and funding for the president's $5.7 billion dollar wall still wasn't funded. UPDATE: A low-cost alternative to the wall was presented to the president and accepted. A Patriotic Border Ribbon is awaiting review by the Government Accountability Office (GAO)  and should be streaming along the Rio Grande...

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