Wednesday, April 20, 2016

420 Day is Not a Legal Holiday

Despite popular belief, today is not a legal holiday. Get to work!

What is the meaning behind 420?

The origin of the term 420, celebrated around the world by pot smokers every April 20th, has long been obscured by the clouded memories of the folks who made it a phenomenon.

Depending on who you ask, or their state of inebriation, there are as many varieties of answers as strains of medical bud in California. It’s the number of active chemicals in marijuana. It’s teatime in Holland. It has something to do with Hitler’s birthday. It’s those numbers in that Bob Dylan song multiplied.



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Tuesday, April 5, 2016

4 hidden Excel 2016 functions that can save you time


Excel 2016 includes a number of hidden functions designed to help you cook the books.

We went to Excel headquarters division that specializing in desktop solutions and after a few non-specific bribes we were shown 4 new commands:

=FUDGE(Result,[arg1,arg2,arg3,…])
When you want to show a complex calculation, but force results

=SNARK([level of snarkness])
Displays a random sarcastic status

=BULLSHIT(Start cell:[End Cell})
Evaluates formulas, images, video and text. Returns a TRUE if it's all bullshit and locks the spreadsheet so you don't waste your time

=AUDIT()
Renamed to =PASSTHEBUCK()

Excel has benefited from a considerable makeover, and additions including snap functions and smart scrolling which make tapping in your spreadsheet data an easier process.        

You can download the suite right now. However, note that Office 2016 for Mac is only available to Office 365 users currently. Those looking to make a one-time purchase of the suite will have to wait for the boxed copy to emerge in September.

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Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Officials warn of latest fad: Eating glass is bad for your health

Evidently eating glass isn't uncommon for beer and pizza lovers.

Corona Beer and DiGiorno’s have teamed up and released a series of ads produced by Mirecall of Los Angeles targeting the 18-52 male with something to prove.


Imagine it’s Friday night and you’re watching a rerun of the A Team when a commercial for both beer and pizza comes on your screen.  Pizza with crushed glass? Sounds crazy. And beer with extra glass? What is this commercial? But then in bold letters, THE REAL MEAL FOR REAL MEN glows on your screen. 

You know your buddy that lives next door is already on his way to the grocery store to stockpile glass infused frozen pizza and beer so you outsmart him and speed down to the Piggly Wiggly, buy all the shattered glass pizza and broken glass beer your truck can hold.  You smile.  Finally outsmarted your buddy and have a fridge full of broken glass pizza and beer. 
This is not a smart diet. Do not eat broken glass. 

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Thursday, February 25, 2016

Facebook's 2nd wave of emoji reactions

Facebook users around the globe have been waking up to an emotional roller coaster. The new Facebook 'Reactions" (a "Like" button extension) was welcomed by users loving, laughing and sharing angry or sad feelings.

The social network didn't stop there, just shy of a week since their worldwide rollout of the new expressions, they started to roll out phase two of  "Reactions."

STRONG DISLIKE


NON-RESPONSE
AKA: STOP ASKING ME TO 'LIKE' YOUR STUFF

I NEED MONEY


YOU'RE FULL OF SH*T


"People left feedback this week that they wanted to express apathy, very strong dislike, full of crap, or wealth via emoji," a senior level Facebook manager told Renegade News, and paraphrased Zuckerberg's mantra, "so we pushed an additional four, wtf we move fast and break things."

In October 2015, the company said it would expand its signature "Like" button with various reactions.  It may take a week or two for this batch of updates to propagate to all users.


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Saturday, February 6, 2016

Finally a non-dairy, vegan friendly floor cleaner and it's kosher too

Non-Dairy, Lactose Free and Vegan Friendly Floor Cleaner

Mr. Clean took his personal battle public this week. For years the man behind household cleaners struggled with his lactose intolerance and worked many year with researchers to produce a vegan friendly non-dairy kitchen cleaner. Now Procter & Gamble has done it, and it's even kosher!

Attention lactose intolerant housekeepers. Now you can au pair without a care; your fear of that funky floor feeling is over. Now is the time to raise mops in celebration of a new line of dairy free deep cleaning floor care products.

Procter & Gamble Professional—the away-from-home division of Procter & Gamble, serving the foodservice, building cleaning and maintenance, hospitality and convenience stores industries—presents Lactose Intolerant Mr. Clean  kitchen & bath products, the ideal solution for fighting grime and dirt without the meat or milk.

The new lineup of dairy-free Mr. Clean offers solutions for a variety of  floorings, including:


  • All Purpose, safe on all surfaces; swirled with non-abrasive vanilla bean specks. 
  • Hardwood, a coffee tinted liquid with fudge chunks & caramel swirls
  • Stone & Laminate, formulated with a bold crunchy peanut cleaner that leaves a brilliant chocolate sandwich shine.
  • Carpet, lifts years of dirt from your rug using a banana cream base and walnut agitator. 

For years, Non-Dairy homeowners have had no choice but to envy the in-laws, unable to compete in America's favorite suburban pastime. Now it’s your turn America. Pull the rug out and wipe the smile off your in-law’s smug mug.

“Creating these new cleaners with a Non-Dairy base composition that meets the high expectations of suburban home dwellers was quite a challenge,” said Head Mopper Kirsten Relomo. “We wanted to bring the cleaning experience to Peoria and Pottsville, and we nailed it!”

The new line up is available in gallons (MSRP: $25.69). To learn more about non-dairy Mr. Clean or to find a store near you, visit bit.ly/1PFWRjF.   Procter & Gamble Pro says to look for the expanded line of cleaning products to include tub and tile, patio furniture and optical wipes. Due on shelves by July.


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