Saturday, December 29, 2018

Beer Bottle Border Wall Will Pay For Itself

The federal government remains partially closed and the president will not release the country until his demands are met.  A border wall paid for and by the people with a $5 billion dollar price tag.

A math major and beer snob got together and ran some numbers.  Americans consume more Mexican beer than any other import, averaging over 60 million gallons a month, according to beerinstitute data.  If we returned the empty bottles to Mexico for their deposit, the wall could be paid for in no time.  Let's do the math.

Assume all beer is bottled and all bottles have a 5¢ deposit.

In October 2018 60,951,402 gallons of Mexican beer were consumed. 54 bottles of beer make up a gallon. 60 million (gallons) times 54 = 3,240,000,000 bottles in one month and at 5 cents a bottle the wall gets $162,000,000 a month on the average. And this is just Mexican imports. There's big money in bottle deposits! Huge money!


By now the leaders in DC have exceeded their daily reading allotment. You see it would take years to save even one billion dollars but we can tell DC leadership their Five Billion Dollars (what is being asked for a wall) will be saved up in a few months.  A senator (not furloughed) recommended that beer bottle money will pile up much quicker if the furloughed federal employees pitch in and start collecting bottles immediately. If you haven't begun yet, start binge drinking amigo.



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Thursday, December 20, 2018

Site Security, please change your password

Renegade News has been battling cyber attacks since the typewriter was invented.

In 2019 you will notice new security has been implemented in an effort to increase account security.  The US National Institute of Standards and Technology revised their suggestions for password protection and frequency to be changed.

Starting January 1, 2019 you will be prompted to change your password every 4 hours. What may seem excessive was chosen after a year of research. In addition, your stripper name will become your new username in the new year.  Your current username will no longer be valid as it exposed a large security defect.



These new password requirements are for your protection. Never share your password with anyone and always sign-off when leaving your work area.  Remember,  cyber attacks are no joke, but our insane password requirements are pretty hysterical.


Next up, we take a look at reCAPTCHA and the hundreds of hours spent unsuccessfully clicking on cars and traffic lights.

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Friday, December 7, 2018

Marlboro takes big stake in marijuana company

Altria, Marlboro parent company, has invested $1.8 Billion in a marijuana stock.

Rumors have been swirling for months, today Altria Group announced it invested over a billion in marijuana stock Cronos Group.

Frito-Lay, after hearing the Altria announcement, declared today is a company holiday and told factory workers their jobs are secure for the indefinite future.

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