NSA less invasive than NYC Co-Op screening

The National Security Agency (NSA) is 75% less invasive than the average New York City CO-OP board screening according to a Renegade News survey of 10,000 people conducted in New York this past summer. Most complaints about the NSA were trivial compared to thousands of complaints of new Co-Op owners. "My whole life was opened to a group of self-important people. People who are my neighbors and know more intimate secrets about my life than my family knows" Condo and co-op regulators were not available to comment on regulators or improper questioning.

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Mobile User Health Warning: Wireless usage linked to Kyphotechnosis

For years, as scientists noted what appeared to be a link between poor posture and increased instances of mobile computing, supporters of humane ergonomic technology have suggested a slumped mobile posture is bad for health. Now a team of researchers from Transylvania University in Lexington, Kentucky have discovered that poor posture combined with high levels of a 3G bandwidth used in mobile users actually increase the risk of Kyphotechnosis.

Kyphotechnosis (KTech) is a is caused by any condition where advanced wireless technology causes a person to contort their body so that they are bent in an unnatural position. The CDC estimates that KTech silently kills approximately 124,000 people nationwide per year.

Researchers in Kentucky initially surveyed ten thousand wireless subscribers, on a 2 year contract, and determined risk factors for KTech. They found that the health and welfare of mobile users was a significant factor in the proliferation of KTech. “If you compromise the posture while engaging with a mobile device, the ability to control KTech is also compromised,” says Ron Redmon, lead researcher for the team who is now a professorial fellow in microwave technology at the University of Miami and science director for the National Center for Kyphotechnosis Research.

Management is key to healthy mobile usage. “It’s not about instant communication or data speed, and a vaccine is not practical,” Redmon says. “Better posture is the path we must take. “A happy chicken is a safe chicken.” If consumers are willing to adjust their posture while working on a smart phone, we can completely change these outcomes.”

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Google revamps search to feature off-line home search

Scientists at Google are always looking for new ways to search, sort and stack our lives. An area less covered is the in-home offline search. Looking for paprika or the tv remote? Google is addressing this need by reconfiguring its search results to help users find more things, like lost socks.
"Our research indicates perhaps 25 percent of people fit this category," Google's Nupak Jumkta wrote in a blog post. "That's why over the next few days we'll be rolling out a new feature to help you find your socks in the main Google Search results."

Google's in-home search results will be ranked algorithmically showing "high-quality" results. For example, if a user wants to find the cork screw, a Google search will bring up a home view of their living space highlighting the corkscrew along with related articles on wine, hangovers and glass recycling.
"I'm happy to see people will find their lost socks," Jumkta wrote. "This is exactly what you'll find in the new feature. In addition to socks, you'll also find some great things under the sofa and buried in the yard."
Currently, the in-home feature is only available on Google.com in English. It's unclear if it will roll out to other languages.

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Vatican 2.0 seeking Pope via Matchmaker Service

The Vatican is going high tech in their papal search. Rome-based Papal Encounter launched in 2000 and now the #1 Trusted Holy Relationship Services Provider in the Vatican has been contracted to select the Pope.

Choosing a pope has always been done by  a meeting of the College of Cardinals, prone to long debates and very unscientific. Over 30 traits of 2.0 are electronically reviewed before the new Bishop of Rome (aka the Pope) is matched.

An inside source at the Vatican told Renegade News the church needed a way to get in touch with today's youth. Reaching out via high tech is the obvious solution.

Another 2.0 announcement, a smoke-free Vatican. No toxic plumes of white or black smoke--The papal conclave tweets the results, hashtag #pickapope.

Papal Encounter's patented Papal Compatibility System® allows bishops and cardinals to be quickly matched with a higher authority whom they are likely to enjoy a long-term relationship. Millions of church leaders of all national origins have applied to use Papal Encounter's Papal Compatibility System and have been rejected. Today, an average of one Papal Encounter member becomes Pope as a result of being matched on the site.

*Papal Encounter is only available in the Vatican City.

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Hostess Twinkies & Dell produce Super Computer with shelf-life of 3 decades

In what seems to be an odd marriage, unconfirmed reports indicate Hostess Twinkies and Dell Computers are being sold to a yet-to-be-disclosed investment group which will introduce a computer with a shelf life of  3 decades, compared to the typical current lifespan of a computer which is about one year.

prototype of pc twinkie processor

Inside sources say this investment group's cool new central processing unit, already in alpha testing, uses super chips cooled by a twinkie filling, with clock speeds 30 times faster than technology in current CPUs. As with any particular CPU, replacing the crystal with another crystal that oscillates at a higher frequency will generally make the CPU run at a higher performance but increase waste heat produced by the CPU. The theory is to increase performance of a CPU by replacing the oscillator crystal with a twinkie, where as waste heat will warm the pastry, stimulating the cream filling and delivering a faster, fresh baked product.

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