Allergy Warning: May Contain Nuts

CAUTION … WARNING:  Allergy Warning: Comments may be made by nuts or traces of other nuts.

Renegade News makes no claims that our newsroom is allergy free.  Content is definitely handled by nuts during preparation and delivery.

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ACME fails in roadrunner kits

ACME stores have opened up in several locations. Naturally our crack news team thought this was in response to the population growth of urban and suburban coyotes.  Just for fun we went shopping for rockets, boulders and even anvils in multiple ACME Market stores with no success.

Not ready to admit defeat, we turned to their website and had the same negative results. Who calls themselves ACME and carries absolutely no Roadrunner capture kits?

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ACME store management had no comment and calls to their corporate office were not returned.

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Ladies wait 5 times longer for toilets, even in outer space

Bathroom queues are much longer for the ladies than the men, and nobody seems to care!

One would think that a place like NASA could fix the toilet line crisis by building more toilets for women.

A spokesperson for  NASA was a bit frazzled when the recent press conference about an all woman space walk shifted to bathroom queues and the 5 hour zero gravity bathroom line orbiting Earth.

NASA explained toilet lines move faster on larger planets so if you really got to go, go to Jupiter.

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Forget Pumpkin Spice, try the CBD Guac and Chips

It's that time of year when everything oozes pumpkin spice.  If you can imagine it, it has the scent.

Aspen CBD company Toast may have jumped the shark with their pumpkin spice CBD oil. They were planning on being the new patchouli for the Millennial music fans this fall season. Millennials said so long to their pumpkins and are literally lining up at one taco joint in El Paso for their Day-of-The-Dead CBD Guacamole dip.  Our El Paso reporter has met people who traveled from Louisiana, Arkansas and Illinois for the chips and guac.

The guacamole is available as a dip with chips, and in tacos and burritos. Better get your orders in soon, this special dip is only available until the end of November.

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#cbd #pumpkinspice #viper #grandmasrecipe #ordermorechips #guacamole

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President Trump reacts to Turkey shelling our special forces

Trump's tweets in response to Turkey shelling our special forces!

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