On the first day of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year after the afternoon prayer, the congregation traditionally goes to a lake, river or sea (preferably a body of water that has fish), and recite the Tashlich prayers, wherein the people cast sins into the water and leave old shortcomings behind us, thus starting the new year with a clean slate.
Governors of Delaware, Maryland and Connecticut have engaged the National Guard as well as state police to enforce a no sin dumping law. Anybody with a suspicious bag of sins or attempt to lay down their burden will be stopped and interrogated.
One state leader, who asked to be misidentified as a FDA chemist, stated he has published proof that dumping any large concentration of sins into a river or lake creates a toxic environment for fish resulting in antisocial fish behavior and bullying. The sin report states these sins can enter the water supply returning sins back to human beings in drinking water.
As of this publishing there were no reports of sin related arrests or fines and national guard troops are stepping down. Maryland officials have an all-you-can-eat fish fry planned for this weekend at the Baltimore harbor waterfront to celebrate the clean water win. Details will be announced on local media.
THIS IS A PARODY OF NEWS
Governors of Delaware, Maryland and Connecticut have engaged the National Guard as well as state police to enforce a no sin dumping law. Anybody with a suspicious bag of sins or attempt to lay down their burden will be stopped and interrogated.
One state leader, who asked to be misidentified as a FDA chemist, stated he has published proof that dumping any large concentration of sins into a river or lake creates a toxic environment for fish resulting in antisocial fish behavior and bullying. The sin report states these sins can enter the water supply returning sins back to human beings in drinking water.
As of this publishing there were no reports of sin related arrests or fines and national guard troops are stepping down. Maryland officials have an all-you-can-eat fish fry planned for this weekend at the Baltimore harbor waterfront to celebrate the clean water win. Details will be announced on local media.
THIS IS A PARODY OF NEWS
