Monday, January 29, 2018

Doctor Pod Snap! Dr Pepper Snapple, Keurig Green Mountain combine

In an effort to make a bigger pop, Dr Pepper Snapple and Keurig Green Mountain plan to combine to form a company with $11 billion in annual revenues, the companies said Monday.

The combined company, will be called Doctor Pop Snap, reason enough to form this merger. [correction: The combined name will be Keurig Dr Pepper)


The companies have done business before. Remember the jingle from a few years ago? "I'm a pepper pod, you're a pepper pod, wouldn't you like to be a pepper pod too?" Keurig signed a multi-year agreement to sell pods of Dr Pepper soda brands for the Keurig Cold system in the U.S. and Canada.

The merger comes as a surprise, but wait until you see the combined beverages. That's the real surprise--one of these hybrid KCups loaded with sugary Snapple, Dr Pepper and Coffee brewed by the cup is estimated to produce enough energy to keep a human being awake for 10 days.

The Olympics committee is looking into legal reasons to ban the soda jerks from olympic competition. So far no statement has been released.

THIS IS A PARODY OF NEWS