Sunday, August 28, 2011

Forgotten Brooklyn Volcano dormant for 3 million years back to life
Tornadoes. Earthquakes. Hurricanes. and Volcanos?

A long forgotten volcano grumbled on Sunday, much to the surprise of the neighborhood hipsters. While Tropical Storm Irene pounded the surface, magma churned away a few miles below.

Yes, minor seismic activity has been detected in New York City. The Brooklyn volcano was thought to be inactive and therefore long forgotten but it seems a volcano grows in Brooklyn

A full eruption is not expected for hundreds of years, geologists warn this can accelerate and be the next Eyjafjallajökull, referring to the Icelandic volcano that erupted twice in 2010 and disrupted air traffic across Europe.

The Brooklyn volcano is fed by a magma chamber that runs under the Gowanus Expressway, which in turn derives from the tectonic divergence of the Greenwood area. It is part of a chain of little known volcanoes spotting the New York region including North Beacon Mountain, Mt. Tremper and Watkins Glen. Geologists are keeping a close eye on this developing event. Expect volcano themed coffee, beer and tee shirts to follow.

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Sunday, June 12, 2011

When Barbeque Should Be A Crime | Libraries are not the place to BBQ
Grilling enthusiasts are descending in flash mob protests on the libraries of America. Why? A recent U.S. Court of Appeals ruling upholding the prohibition against barbequing inside of government libraries.

I know this is Summer, and a BBQ is awesome fun, but please: No open flames inside of our nation's atheneums. Visitors come to study, research and read quietly, not to see you slather up ribs. Barbeques are hard enough to witness with shirtless fat guys sweating over hot dogs at parties, and in many instances should be considered a federal offense in itself.

Why is this news? Well, on March 9, 2009, Joe Rogers and his kids wanted to have a cookout in the children's book section of Iowa City, Iowa's downtown library. Rogers arrived shortly before 11AM and began setting up the Weber while the kids read Dr Seuss books. Library police ejected them when they refused to leave the bibliotheca. Rogers sued, claiming his First Amendment rights had been violated and the officer should not have thrown a book at him.

Last month the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Iowa City district dismissed the case, deciding the government should not be forced to give citizens "the full range of free expression" in such solemn spaces. The court found no infringement of First Amendment rights or excessive use of force. Since then, outdoor cable channels and their celebrity grill masters have circled the hibachis in protest inside 127 libraries across the country, risking arrest.

The National Library System now feels compelled to issue press releases noting it "supports grilling", and that it has a "long and proud tradition of supporting" First Amendment rights. It even oddly recommends that "grilling in our parks is a great way" to support the First Amendment, whether at "a national park on the 4th of July with tens of thousands of people or with the neighbors at your inflatable swimming pool."

The country has thousands of acres of park space where it's OK to barbeque, just not in the reference section of a library. It also points out that by law the agency must be the first responders for your "enjoyment" on public lands it oversees. In other words, if someone is making your visit to a library  unenjoyable, we're obligated to get rid of them.

The NLS's final point is sort of an extension of the tragedy of the commons, an medical theory that says indoor grilling can generate lethal fumes: "Just as you may not appreciate someone using a cell phone in a movie theater or someone deep frying onion rings at a funeral, we believe it is not appropriate and possibly dangerous to be using an open flame inside of a book repository."

I'm sure President Lincoln, who reportedly was an avid reader and quite good with the wood, on the grill, would agree.

RENEGADE NEWS: This is a parody of news

 inspired by WSJ  OPINION  When Dance Should Be a Crime (JUNE 11, 2011)


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

iBag or iDoucheBag - results of research
What is an iBag, often called an iDoucheBag or iDouche?
the iBag badge of honor

An iBag is the term given to inconsiderate users of mobile devices (laptops, mp3 players, cell phones, tablets).  A study was recently concluded by our Renegade News tech journalists which had some surprising results. Bigger is not always badder.  The laptop scored lower on the iBag scale than the touch screen phone or tablet. So far I refrained from saying iPhone or iPad, this is because while the iProducts may have a slightly higher douchability, there was no great difference on touch screen smartphones or specific brands of tablets.

iBags:
  • Talk loudly on cell phones
  • Spread their elbows into their neighboring riders ribcage
  • Use their iDevices with sound effects
  • Play their iNoise so loud the earpod bleedover is heard throughout the bus/train

iBag Annoyance Chart

Overall the Renegade News iTeam found when asked to remove their elbows or lower their volume, an iBag responds in an exaggerated fashion while muttering about their self-entitlements.

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Comment on your own iBag experiences...

Friday, April 15, 2011

Post Office Shows Wrong Statue of Liberty on Stamp
Forever Stamp shows a replica of Lady Liberty
The New York Times reported Friday that a USPS stamp which was supposed to show the actual Statue of Liberty displays a replica.

The United States Postal Service admits the blunder but said it has no plans to recall the goofed up Lady Liberty "Forever" stamp.

"We still love the stamp design and would have selected this photograph anyway," Roy Betts, a post office spokesman, told the Times.

The Post Office regretted the error and is examining how a replica of the Statue was used instead of the actual lady liberty.

Renegade News investigated and have discovered several times in the USPS history where the wrong photograph was accidentally put into production including:
  • A Gerald Ford stamp where a Ford Escort was accidently used
  • A Neil Armstrong stamp displaying Armstrong Flooring
  • And the famous stamp celebrating Arizona as the 48th state and last of the contiguous states admitted to the Union, showing a photo of the restaurant, Torombolos Hamburguesas in Hermosillo, Sonora, Mexico
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    Friday, April 1, 2011

    iPads may cause second hand iBlindness
    For years precautions have been urged for users of earpods to keep the volume down as they are at risk for hearing loss. Forget the iPod, dim down the iPad.

    The Institute of Vision and Scent has expressed concern regarding the use of tablets, particularly the iPad, because of reflective light wavelengths generated by early morning sunlight bouncing off glossy screens, causing retinal damage and contributing to technology related blindness.

    Reflective iPad light is 8000x brighter than the Sun
    There has been over 63,000 reports of second-hand blindness injuries directly related to neglectful iPad usage. Most of these injuries typically occur in the early morning when pupils are dilated due to less light and longer shadows, allowing reflective light to enter deep into the eye, and damaging the retina.

    iPad as a substitute for Natural light?
    For years ophthalmologists have advised people to get outside natural light, without sunglasses or sun block, for a minimum of one hour a day and warns that reflective light is not a substitute for true natural light and "should absolutely be avoided." People who cannot get outside regularly need to equip their work areas with full-spectrum light fixtures.

    Anti-reflective iPad?
    Sure anti-reflective coatings will cut down on light injuries and there are numerous third-party vendors offering a solution, anti-reflective LCD screen guards. These films enable users to work on their iPad without accidentally blinding others, prices generally range between $7 and $15.

    But Apple users love bright, shiny objects and adding a matt finish is contrary to the company's Shiny Product Management (SPM) roadmap. Renegade News left messages for Apple but did not hear back about a plan to offer tablets with a Matt finish display in the iFuture. Happy April Fool's Day.

    from Renegade News - the news we twist to fit
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    Monday, February 7, 2011

    AOL acquires The Huffington Post - offers free HuffPost diskettes
    AOL Inc. [NYSE:AOL] announced that it has entered into a definitive agreement to acquire The Huffington Post, the influential and rapidly growing news, analysis, and lifestyle website founded in 2005, with millions of monthly visitors.


    AOL Diskettes: Free Access to Huffington Post
    A direct mail campaign with AOL diskettes etches a leap in the evolution of digital journalism and online engagement by guaranteeing free news access via diskette for the foreseeable future. No official word on Huff Post becoming a pay service, or of any direct mail campaign was available when this article was first published.

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    Sunday, January 16, 2011

    Starbucks' Introduces New Medusa Logo and Four Speciality Items
    Have you bought a cup of *bux joe with the new icon?  The buzz on the street, "Starbuck's changes logo to Medusa" is rocking across the country and the world. According to a reliable source at an disclosed coffee shop in Toledo, Ohio, Medusa, the mythical Greek character, was chosen because it is more inline with a greater plan for global domination by Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz. And coincides with a soon to be made announcement of new caffeinated products.

    There is backlash to dropping the Starbucks’ mermaid, or “Siren” icon, thousands of Facebook users protested changing the image to Medusa and a blog urged business executives to boycott the coffee until the Siren returns. Starbucks’ move also comes at a time when U.S. companies are relying more heavily on foreign sales, and a logo based on a controversial Greek character may not sit well in emerging markets.

    Versace, who has a similar logo, stated "there are so many mythical characters, why Medusa? Look at Roman mythology, leave us Medusa." And no confirmation of plans for a chain of Versace Cafes.

    Starbucks is expected to launch many new products in 2011. Our sources confirmed there are at least 9 new items and revealed these four:
    • Truffa - A new smaller and slightly more expensive, but much cooler, size cup with a larger Starbucks logo.
    • Bitta - A mildly caffeinated bottled water with the signature burnt coffee taste.
    • Joos - A dehydrated yellow powder when added to water gives the appearance of Orange Juice but with the signature burnt coffee taste. 
    • Phul - Single serving pouches of upscale (read "expensive") instant coffee, which will target the over 80 Nescafe and Sanka audience.
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