Friday, November 25, 1988

Lomelo Walks, Lomelo Talks
In a surprise to everyone, ex-Mayor of Surnise, Florida, John Lomelo was freed from prison last weekend...

Wednesday, October 26, 1988

Thursday, June 16, 1988

Farming Belt drought plan
This was written when farmers were experiencing a horrible drought in the mid 80s...
In a related story, Yuppies from all over the country are sending in
their Perrier brand water to the nation's farming belt to help fight
the drought. Farmers appreciate the bottled water effort, but noted one
side effect. Last week, several cows in one man's stockyard had the
urge to steal a BMW and drive recklessly across Nebraska.

RENEGADE NEWS -- The News We Twist To Fit {tm}
Texaco Tries Titillating Technique
The financially troubled Texaco Oil Company told Renegade News it plans to
tap a new market in an effort to bring their balance sheet into the
black. All service stations in the thirteen state drought-stricken
area of the nation will be converted from selling gasoline to selling
tap water.

Water will come in three varieties, similar to the gas they will
replace.

REGULAR water will be equivalent to the water in residential homes.

A MID-GRADE water, to help plants grow faster, will have a higher
phosphate base like the water that leaves your washing machine.

And a HIGH TEST water will be similar to water taken from the cooling
towers at your nearby nuclear power plant.

In a related story, Yuppies from all over the country are sending in
their Perrier brand water to the nation's farming belt to help fight
the drought. Farmers appreciate the bottled water effort, but noted one
side effect. Last week, several cows in one man's stockyard had the
urge to steal a BMW and drive recklessly across Nebraska.

RENEGADE NEWS -- The News We Twist To Fit {tm}
06/16/88

Wednesday, June 1, 1988

Friday, May 6, 1988

Solidarity / Reagan Psychic / Aloha Airlines
Solidarity Still Striking: In Warsaw, Poland, labor negotiators went to a massive steel mill where...

President pursues Psychic Predictions: Not to the country's amazement, President Ronald Reagan has been using an astrologist to help him plan his day...

Aloha Ascends above all: Aloha Airlines jet broke apart over Hawaii last week

From Renegade News - the news we twist to fit

Friday, April 22, 1988

Monday, March 7, 1988

Tuesday, February 23, 1988

Thursday, February 18, 1988

Tuesday, February 16, 1988

Monday, February 15, 1988

Wednesday, February 10, 1988

Star Wars Test is In The Bag
A Star Wars satellite packed with advanced censors tracked down a set of phony targets in a $250 million test of technology vital to placement of future space stations...

Thursday, February 4, 1988

Wednesday, February 3, 1988

Ocean Spray Floods New England
Last week CBS News announced that Ocean Spray Cranberries of Plymouth, Mass. was being fined for dumping toxic chemicals into the water supply.

This week Renegade News discovered exactly what toxic chemicals were being dumped...

Sunday, January 24, 1988

Friday, January 22, 1988

Sunday, January 17, 1988

CBS drops The Greek
Jimmy The Greek Snyder, who was a sportscaster at CBS for twelve years was fired on Saturday for making racial comments about Black atheletes...

Saturday, January 16, 1988

Monday, January 11, 1988

Pittsburgh familes tap profits
Pittsburgh residents rejoiced late Sunday when officials began pumping water to their homes after a week with dry taps.

According to a survey taken by Renegade News, 4 out of 5 families in the metropolitan Pittsburgh area struck it rich late Sunday evening when they went to their sinks. City officials claim the water is safe to drink, but OPEC officials are offering residents $28 a barrel for tap water.

RENEGADE NEWS -- The News We Twist To Fit (tm)

Friday, January 8, 1988