Theologists celebrating discovery of lost religion

Theologists are celebrating their recent discovery of a lost religion. What scholars had written off as lost a long time ago was discovered, quite by accident, thriving in New York City. The Procrastenazi Apatharian religion is alive and living in Brooklyn, New York.


Procrastenazi Apatharian, also known as Procrastenazi Apats or simply Procrastenazis, are a Apatharian ethnic division who coalesced as a distinct community of Apatharians in the Holy Roman Empire around the end of the 1st millennium. The traditional language of Procrastenazi consists of various shrugs and single word grunts such as “Yup”, “Dunno”, and “Naw”.

They established communities throughout Eastern and Central Europe, which had been their primary region of concentration and residence until recent times, but they’ve been meaning to move for several decades.  The Apatharian Procrastenazi do not have a whole lot of documented history, and those interviewed didn’t really care. Only by sheer accident are portions of their history are recorded.

A 5 year search determined that the Procrastenazi have made "no remarkable contributions to humanity" and while European culture doesn’t ignore them, they tend not to be noticed.  A substantial number of Procrastenazi have a literature, art, music or science background, but never applied their knowledge in society

It is estimated that in the 11th century Procrastenazi Apatharians composed about three percent of the world's Apatharian population, while at their peak in 1931 they accounted for 92 percent of the world's Apats.

We spent a day with a Procrastenazi family who did noting remarkable all day, nobody could care whether it was night or day. We questioned the family if perhaps some family historic documents may be stored in their attic; the elderly parents agreed to look for it next week.

We walked the neighborhood and household after household told the same story. They’ve been meaning to take some photos, write things down and do something–but just never got around to it.

Next week we hear the story of a family on Prozac.

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Theologists celebrating discovery of lost religion Theologists celebrating discovery of lost religion Reviewed by SteveMiami on 9:12 PM Rating: 5

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