Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Does a shorter tweet affect your civil liberties?


Twitter, the social-media giant made popular by brief 140 character messages shared over the internet, is planning on cutting their Tweeters by 8%.  Depending on the math, rounding the fractions, the shorter tweets will be a max of 129 or 130 characters after the reorganization.

Our Wall Street sources told us on Tuesday morning that Twitter's CEO tweeted a DM to employees who will be eliminated in the process, "SMH OMFG you R SOL GTFO."

"We feel strongly that our giant servers will move much faster with a smaller and nimbler tweet," company officials tell us.

Tech blog Re/code reported last week that restructuring was coming as a result of Twitter becoming "too bloated." The company had recently been talking about longer tweets, paragraphs were mentioned -- but Twitter's core user base can't form a sentence and offering paragraphs will only intimidate longtime, loyal users. Civil liberties groups have called out a number of laws on the subject for potentially violating the First Amendment because they say nobody can tweet a good rant in just 130 characters.

Investors liked the 8% news: Twitter shares were up about 3 percent in early trade Tuesday.

THIS IS A PARODY OF NEWS