Wednesday, December 9, 2015

MPAA releases new movie ratings for 2016
Hold onto your nachos, you're about to see some new movie ratings this Christmas. The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) is releasing new movie ratings starting with the holiday films.
The MPAA film-rating system is used in the United States and its territories to rate a film's suitability for certain audiences, based on its content. The MPAA rating system is a voluntary scheme that is not enforced by law; films can be exhibited without a rating, though many theaters refuse to exhibit non-rated or NC-17 rated films. Non-members of MPAA may also submit films for rating.

There were numerous factors that led to the additional rating systems including a study by the Annenberg Public Policy Center which found that stupidity in films since 1985 has quadrupled in frequency. The number of scripts of total garbage, the study found, has reached a critical point. Therefore you will see the OM-FG rating on many upcoming films.

Some science fiction films have a cult-like following and fans have been known to worship the characters, going as far as seeing the film dozens of times wearing full costume. These films will have the NCC-1701 rating.

It's never a pleasant experience to be around a bunch of  old hippies still living in 1972 when they are jarred back to reality.  Don't even start to tell them that Jerry passed away.  Nothing ruins the cinema like someone freaking out in the audience.  For these aging hipies the rating PG-54 will be added to films that may be too harsh for the hippy mind to process in real time.

And the last rating to be added for Christmas is the "W" rating.  A potpourri of people, a gumbo of freaks.  Be warned that the "W" rating is for Weirdos.


We surveyed 100 theaters in the greater Detroit area about the additional ratings and an overwhelming majority of them were anxious to see the new ratings added to the system.

THIS IS A PARODY OF NEWS and has not yet been rated